I understand what you mean. I always feel guilty having an animal neutered, or spayed, but when it’s your animal and you can’t afford to have them litter, it’s another story. I once adopted a cat that as already pregnant with a litter of kittens that died in utero. I told the vet to just spay her after that. My fiancé, at the time, felt so bad that he went out to a rescue and bought a kitten to keep her company while we both worked during the day. It probably didn’t make it up to her entirely. I get that.