I understand what you do and what you mean with this post but it will be futile. Hexbear and lemmygrad are toxic instances where you cannot have a proper conversation with its users.
I call it the 4chan style of discussing things. Make you answer a plethora of questions without them needing to answer your questions. The point is to pit you constantly on the back-foot. They count on your morals and decency to keep answering and defending your opinions where they will absolutely have no desire to do the same thing. The end goal is for you to become frustrated and give up. For you to become disheartened.
I urge all instance owners to defederate from these shitholes, nothing of value will be lost.