Friend, I think you're already falling into the "us vs them" mentality. We should be able to separate the loud, misandrist, "men are the problem, women are the solution", feminists from the "we're equal before the law, but I still perceive inequality and something should be done about it", passive feminists.
That is what is done to MRAs who were just saying "men have issues too, here are some" and being labeled as misogynist, radical, dangerous, and incel (which also shouldn't be an insult, much less one exclusive to men).
Each community has their loud, obnoxious members, but they shouldn't be representative of that community unless the community is mostly loud and obnoxious itself.
As such, I'd like to challenge your view that feminism is the problem and propose that it has much more to do with tradition and religion. Men and women alike face irreconcilable gender roles, prejudice, and traditional and societal obligations, that lead to their oppression:
men should work, women should clean
men and women should make children
men should not show emotions, women are too emotional
men should protect women, women are the damsels
a man should sleep with a woman, a woman should sleep with a man
The issue is much deeper than simple "women say men are the problem, which is the problem". Tribalism, identity-politics, and myopic, single-viewed, unidirectional thinking is toxic.