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a-man-from-earth

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"It's the content, stupid." - Quick Notes to Supercharge K.Bin ( kbin.social )

Like you, I'm a passionate user of K.Bin but lately, I'm noticing that things are getting kinda stale around here. The most recent thread in this, the top-level magazine on K.Bin, is 4 days old. Many other top 25 magazines are also suffering from a similar lack of fresh content. I run /m/scifi and it's been continuing to grow...

a-man-from-earth ,
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The problem is that Kbin sucks as well. For example, /m/science lacks actual moderators and gets flooded with spam on the regular. And even where there are active moderators, moderation actions often do not get federated.

I was hoping these issues would get fixed soon, but here we are, three months after the Reddit apocalypse, and Kbin is still not a fully functional platform. For example, I filed bug fifteen days ago, and this has still not been resolved. And bug has been open since early July.

If Kbin wants to become and stay relevant, it needs more hands on deck.

a-man-from-earth ,
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So, I post content (on average once every 3 days, despite my drop in activity this month), I engage in the comments (more than you do, if we're counting), I moderate a community, and I file bug reports in an attempt to make this a better platform.

So yes, I am doing my part, and that does qualify me to comment on the state of Kbin. Suggesting I don't is toxicity we don't need here.

And pretending that Kbin is just fine won't help this platform to become successful. And yes, despite my criticisms, I want this to be a successful Reddit replacement. But it's struggling to become relevant, and I'm frustrated with its lack of progress.

People want stuff to read, not people to point at 'the problem.'

People also want interesting discussions on topics they care about. I know that because for years I was a moderator of a small but active subreddit.

The m/men magazine I moderate used to be the most active one on Kbin, a place you're now proudly proclaiming m/scifi has...

I'm waiting to see if ernest's promised next version of Kbin will actually improve things, especially on the moderation side. Otherwise I have to reconsider where to direct my efforts.

Please don't let this turn into an anti-feminist, misogynistic, right-wing, tribal community ( kbin.social )

You will be no better than the people you'll fight against. I've seen it happen on every pro-men subreddit, and if this place isn't aggressively moderated to dispel hopelessness, negativity, and prejudice, it'll just turn into hate....

a-man-from-earth ,
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Did you read the pinned welcome thread?

It is because we are egalitarian and pro-human that we are pro-men as well as pro-women. And because men are human and have human rights, men also deserve to have their rights advocated for. This community welcomes everyone who comes without hate or bigotry, to discuss men's issues.

The expectation society (men & women) has of men to approach and initiate an interaction is the reason women feel unsafe when a man does approach ( kbin.social )

I hear all this talk about women's safety when out on the streets (a real issue which I do acknowledge) and how we as men need to do our part to make sure they feel comfortable, safe, and that we hold other men accountable when doing the same thing. Absolutely have no problem with this. But one of the main issues men have is a...

a-man-from-earth ,
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No, just no. This is a typical "forever alone" take, and the proposed solutions are unrealistic at best. Not gonna happen.

How are we supposed to take the lead and approach while keeping women safe at the same time when approaching her could make her feel uncomfortable

By being gentlemen about it. Be confident in our approach, but be respectful when turned down.

And understand that many women react the way they do because of a series of negative experiences they've had. It's tragic that bad men ruin it for the good ones. But that shouldn't mean the good ones should give up.

Men already deal with the expectation to approach and make the first move. If you put that much pressure on men, it's gonna make them wanna find communities that will tell them how to do exactly that. Guess where they turn to? The redpill/PUA.

Because there are so few places that teach positive and respectful ways of dating. I really think this is an issue primarily of education (by other men and by male communities, as well as parents). Most boys are left to their own devices when it comes to this, which means peer groups, social media, and Hollywood. Is it any wonder they don't learn healthy behaviors?

TRP and PUA at least offer solutions that work to some extent, unhealthy as they may be. Where are the healthy alternatives?

So the first step here is for society to stop expecting men to make the first move and not just that. Stop expecting them to read signs (especially signs women gives as an invitation as her "first move" as they're subtle, not obvious), stop expecting men to start flirting, and stop expecting men to be the first ones to initiate conversations about sex.

Not gonna work. This is too deeply ingrained in our nature, which evolved over millions of years. Sperm is cheap, and pregnancy is still a heavy burden. Most women are always going to be more careful about selecting who to have sex and relationships with. Take it as a fact of nature.

I'm not saying it can't change, but don't build your dating strategy on expecting it to change. That's how guys end up forever alone.

I don't believe we as a society (given our current practices) should partake in active agency with dating until we've gotten rid of those expectations.

and

We should not be doing any active courting in dating nor give out any dating advice until we have reached a point where society doesn't expect men to be the initiators all the time.

Then enjoy being forever alone. Most men are going to pass on that, because it is unnatural, and the urge to have sex and to be in a relationship is simply too strong.

Your proposed plan of action is entirely unrealistic, and I would say even damaging to boys and young men seeking healthy dating strategies that work.

Yes, it's a quagmire navigating all the conflicting advice, which is why I say that more experienced men showing others the way is so important.

a-man-from-earth ,
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I agree with a lot of what you're saying, but some of your stats are just propaganda. For example:

And 9 out of 10 rape victims are women.

This is absolutely false. Mary P. Koss doctored the stats, because she does not believe that women can rape men, or that that would be serious. But if you take forced penetration into account, then suddenly it is roughly 50-50 and no longer a gendered crime.

a-man-from-earth ,
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a-man-from-earth ,
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The "9 out of 10 rape victims are women" should change.

Every single victim of rape is one too many, of course. But by presenting this as a gendered crime, we would erase the male victims. They suffer in silence. But what happened to them is a crime too.

FBI Seizure of Mastodon Server is a Wakeup Call to Fediverse Users and Hosts to Protect their Users ( www.eff.org )

We’re in an exciting time for users who want to take back control from major platforms like Twitter and Facebook. However, this new environment comes with challenges and risks for user privacy, so we need to get it right and make sure networks like the Fediverse and Bluesky are mindful of past...

a-man-from-earth ,
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@ernest, what is Kbin doing to resist such overreach by law enforcement?

a-man-from-earth ,
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Don't generalize. Not all women (or men, or other groups by innate characteristics) have the same behavior.

a-man-from-earth ,
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banned for rudeness and personal attack

a-man-from-earth ,
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I didn't ban you.

a-man-from-earth ,
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I agree that people should not use the terms toxic masculinity and patriarchy, as they are habitually used to generalize and discriminate against men. They are offensive and misandrist. (Maybe that's a better wording than "it hurts men's feelings", which some people have a problem with.)

And yes, when you mean egalitarianism, don't say feminism. Tho used as a term to refer to a misandrist movement, feminism is fine.

a-man-from-earth ,
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It is most often used as a blunt weapon to strike at men with. That is the bigotry we object to.

a-man-from-earth OP ,
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Are you talking about the movie or the article reviewing it?

I want to move to Linux but I need to be able to access my apps that are not supported ( kbin.social )

Hey, I use the Adobe Suite for daily use to build and develop posts and videos for multiple people and can't have my workflow slow down by learning a new application, I've looked into Linux a few times and want to really move over in the future but due to it not having support for Adobe, I'm not sure what to do....

a-man-from-earth ,
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You shouldn't base your choice of distro on the desktop configuration you want. Any major distro can give you any of the various desktop layouts. Sure, their defaults may be different, but Linux being so configurable means that any other layout or environment is just a few clicks away.

Just choose a major distro (so you get regular updates and support when needed), and go with it. Linux Mint is a popular choice for beginners. Debian, OpenSuse, Fedora are all good choices. Then find out how to set your desktop to the configuration you like.

a-man-from-earth OP ,
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You always need to look carefully at what is being compared.

a-man-from-earth OP ,
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We don't use incel as a slur here, nor do we use the toxic term 'toxic masculinity' unironically here. Comment removed.

a-man-from-earth ,
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By keeping it going. It's very regrettable that it fractured, but I guess at this point it can't be helped. My mistake was misjudging the willingness of active participants to jump ship, tho I am happy to see some of you did make it over. I am here for you, as long as I perceive there is a need for this community. It did hurt to get misrepresented and blamed for things outside of my control by a former top contributor to the subreddit. His ego, his inflated sense of self-importance, and his blind anger only resulted in further fracturing of the community. It really took me by surprise, and caused me a lot of stress, which is why I have been quiet for the past week.

There is no chance in hell I am going back to Reddit, after the absolutely shameful way that company treated us. And I don't understand anyone (especially a left-wing activist) willing to tolerate that, or even more: volunteering to curate content for them, especially after the degradation in service which is affecting effective moderation (e.g. BotDefense).

a-man-from-earth ,
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This was an issue very recently in the Netherlands, when emergency services referred to Twitter for storm Poly updates... I hope these all move to Mastodon.

LeftWingMaleAdvocates Archive ( theredarchive.com )

I remember this was linked on the LeftWingMaleAdvocates subreddit before it was privated. I do not know who made it, but it is an archive of all posts and comments submitted there. The association with the red pill is unfortunate, but this seems like the best way to read the old posts now....

a-man-from-earth ,
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It is, because we had nothing to do with them archiving the subreddit.

And I will not allow any attempts at purity spiralling here, which is why I removed your other comments.

a-man-from-earth ,
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The community on Kbin is just starting. We're still very small. Give it time.

a-man-from-earth ,
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Thanks for posting this link. I always hesitated to promote that archive, because of its association. But since the subreddit has recently been set to private (after I stepped down as mod there), it is now inaccessible, so an archive is welcome.

The reader should realize that we are not aligned with The Red Pill and do not support (all of) their views, especially since they generalize too much and engage in misogyny as a result. We aim to present more nuanced and more egalitarian views here.

a-man-from-earth ,
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It's still "restricted", meaning only approved submitters can post new threads.

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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  • a-man-from-earth ,
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    No, I did not. There is a lot of good content there that should be available, in my opinion. So if there was nobody who wanted to moderate it, I would set it to restricted (i.e. only approved submitters can post).

    Effectively, 27 became head mod when I stepped down three weeks ago. So, as far as I know, it was under his leadership that it was set to private.

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    You should not put that on me. When I stepped down, I left the sub open and in the hands of 3 mods who are still somewhat active on Reddit, one of whom stated he wanted to recruit new mods to keep the sub going. I did not set the sub to private. And I would never do so. At least keeping an archive is useful.

    And since I am no longer a mod at LWMA, and have not been for three weeks now, I literally can't restore the subreddit.

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    We had a rule against purity tests, and we allowed anyone who came in good faith and followed the rules to participate. So if Bighex broke that rule, we removed his comment(s). They probably made a stink about it and threw some expletives our way, which led to a ban. That's usually how that goes.

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    Please read what I said.

    I stepped down three weeks ago, and left the sub in the hands of someone who wanted to moderate it and recruit new mods. So, I did my part.

    What happened after that is not my responsibility, and I refuse to take responsibility for the actions of people I have no influence over, at a place I no longer have access to.

    It is not up to me, as I am no longer a mod there, and haven't been for three weeks. Redirect your anger at the people who actually are responsible, and who can actually do something about it. Not me.

    What exactly do you think I can do at this point?

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    a-man-from-earth ,
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    And now you are banned here for personal attack and spreading misinformation.

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    So you resort to threats now? How classy. I would have expected that to be beneath you.

    Anyway, I already messaged the mods that remained.

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    Removed because it appears you're a hit-and-run spammer.

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    Apparently this is not the kind of content people here wish to discuss.

    ‘Toxic masculinity’ is toxic terminology — The Centre for Male Psychology ( www.centreformalepsychology.com )

    As I psychologist, I’m concerned about mental health, especially the mental health of men and boys because it’s been overlooked for so long. Because there was so little interest in how much the negative discourse around masculinity impacts boys, my colleagues and I ran a survey. We found that around 85% of respondents...

    a-man-from-earth OP ,
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    Read the room, and the article. You're trying to normalize the use of a toxic term. That is not acceptable here.

    Welcome to /m/men! ( kbin.social )

    I just stepped down as moderator from all five of the subreddits I used to moderate over on Reddit. I just can't ethically justify continued activity on Reddit, and especially free volunteer labour for an openly greedy company that is engaged in scummy behaviour, forcing mods to open protesting communities or be demoted....

    a-man-from-earth OP ,
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    Nobody is stopping them from going for higher paying jobs or working more hours. But it's not expected of women like it's expected of men.

    a-man-from-earth OP ,
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    So, moderation doesn't federate? That's very unfortunate.

    a-man-from-earth ,
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    Since it's hosted on kde.social, I'd say the first one probably is.

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