I've had the same experience with female friends I had emotionnaly supported for years disappearing the second I manifested emotionnal needs, in some cases at their request.
One of them even did the same with her own brother before me when he transitionned. Dealing with the emotions of her depressive sister was ok but soon after the sister became a brother she told me she had enough of his whining. This was especially jarring coming from a person who had spent countless nights crying on my or my husband's shoulder over some pointless drama.
I came to identify one red flag and one green flag for potential female friends (can be applied to men with some adjustments): Has "girl's nights" where only women are welcome= doesn't see men as fully human, red flag. Is "not like the other girls" = tries to distance herself from that mindset, green flag.
I know I know, "not like the other girls" has been oficially branded as mysoginy by the internet. Green flag.