I don't think that you can put any of this down to individual choices. Individual men aren't the ones making choices that it's 'gay' to cry when you feel sad, or that being a Real Man (tm) means that you bottle up your feelings and push through the suck until you can't anymore and eat a shotgun for breakfast. These are societal-wide issues that are guiding people into the 'right' choices based on their presumed gender. While there is certainly some biology involved in how people act, those expressions are heavily shaped by society, and aren't within the control of any single person.
I mean, yeah, it's a patriarchal system, and that system causes harm to men also, and limits the ability that men have to express who they are as individuals, in the same way that it harms women, and limits their expression of self (and overall power within society).