TemporaryBoyfriend ,

Just get a vasectomy and get it over with.

It’s a low-risk, high reward procedure. One weekend of mild discomfort, sitting on the couch eating pizza and drinking beer, a couple more days of leaving your weiner alone, then a couple wanks to clear the pipes, and two post-vasectomy sperm tests, and you’re in the clear* for the rest of your life.

  • Because I’m paranoid, I got a post-vasectomy sperm test every year for 5 years, and once every 5 years after that as part of my semi-annual checkup with my doctor.
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