Just like all social vampires… “How could my being around be draining on people?” People are being nice to you because they have to. There is an HR dept. and rules. News flash, not everyone likes you. Some, likely many, simply tolerate you. But that is true for everyone, not just you. We come to work to pay the mortgage, to buy our groceries, to buy the kid braces. Not to be everyone’s friend.
I said requesting training is awesome. Asking for a spot on my calendar to train you on something is perfectly fine. Interrupting my own work to get me to do something for you is not that. Casually watching me work without first asking me to be “on” for you is also not ok. I would want time to prepare to teach you. I could have prepared examples, and a workflow diagram, and most importantly, be prepped to be in “on” mode to socialize with you. It’s an effort to mask, just walking up and being an interruption provides no time to mask up for you, and you get an adhoc half annoyed and possibly unprepared lesson. Teaching someone properly is like taking the stage, or preparing a TEDtalk… Many of us need time to get into the role, because everything around other people is some form of act to best interact with the target audience.
What outfit do I wear?
What accent and pentameter have I discovered makes you most at ease and least aggressive?
What slang terms have I observed you use safely, vs which bother you?
Do I know which programming language you prefer, so I can show you in that language and prepare examples?
Will you smell like cigarettes, and if so, make sure I have measures to deal with that smell?
Have I scheduled it around the right time after we’ve both eaten to make sure neither of us is “hangry”?
Are you a loud person, in which case, some examples or even jokes I may cut out to prevent a loud outburst or comment that draws even more people?
Do I know what soda to offer you?
Doing all that for a real public presentation is actually far easier than doing it for an individual you barely know.
Don’t you see? This is an entire performance we have to put on for you. Watching someone adhoc is just cruel and invasive to that person. They have their own job to do and focus on, not worry about chit chatting with someone while making a dead line.
Spock - “May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans? I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant.”
Do not confuse coworkers with friends. Some can be friends, but most are not. Most are just coworkers… people forced to be in a room or building working together. Those are mostly acquaintances at best. They aren’t all asking you to go have beers with them. We have our real friends who we picked organically to be around. You know where they aren’t usually? At our work.