You hate the "man or bear" conversation. Imagine how much women must hate it, knowing that you and other "good men" will bemoan their feelings as soon as they express them. Think about how chilling that is to their concerns; how they have to walk on eggshells even around "good men" when they want voice legitimate concerns.
There is a book I will mention that will get me downvoted to oblivion, but it is very relevant to this discussion. It is called "White Fragility" and it discusses the following phenomenon: When vulnerable groups express criticism of societal problems, individuals will take that criticism personally and redirect the conversation towards their feelings. This has the effect, whether intended or otherwise, of shutting out the voice of the vulnerable group and forestalling any meaningful change. The book identifies this phenomenon in discussions of race, but I hope you can identify the parallels.
Or the variation, "Ok!" with a smile and simply carry on. I understand the urge to "fix" this person, but it is never worth the time. Smile and nod and then ignore what they said.
Connect your circle of thought. If we buy Haiti a bunch of food and deliver it, we have created the jobs and infrastructure to solve the issue precisely in the manner you describe. We have redirected the economy to solve the problem. You seem to take issue with the idea that the solution did not arise from capitalist market forces. Well no shit, that’s kind of why we have the problem.