My friend, the first thing you need to know about shitty people is that they tend not to be open about how shitty they are. If you share your beliefs with someone manipulative, they will usually hid their real opinions from you.
This strongly reminds me of the Rimworld community.
Like, Rimworld ALLOWS you to do slavery, organ harvesting, cannibalism, and all sorts of wild shit within its systems, and the young-male fans of the game talk that up a lot.
…but the reality is that most people set up a nice little farm and spend most of their time making art and decorating their base and playing matchmaker.