Women write about their divorce experience. Why don’t more men? ( aeon.co )

Rentlar , 10 months ago

I skimmed the article but to answer the titular question, men would rather be light on details describing a previous marriage/relationship or keep it a secret altogether, because it would earn them stigma from both men and women around them.

A commonly ingrained idea of marriage that’s learned and in culture is that marriage is a perpetual vow/promise, so re-marrying is considered a breach of trust in some circles. How could one be faithful to their new partner through thick and thin if they were wrung through the process of divorce, amicable or not?, would be the thought process behind these beliefs. I don’t have a religious view of marriage, but if I must break an eternal vow then I’d better have a darn good reason for myself as well. Just my own thoughts on this, I’m open to other opinions.

The article later goes into the inequality of gender roles in a relationship when it comes to running a home. To that, I say that people have to be more accepting, and society has to be more compatible with allowing stay-at-home dads with a mother as the breadwinner.

On one hand is the obvious staring and occasional questioning that happens when a dad brings their child alone somewhere. I know there is some opposition to this, but childcaring dads should be cheered on and encouraged, in a good-natured and not belittling manner.

Second is the economic aspect. With how unaffordable things are, many parents have to both be employed to raise a kid. That’s not enough to really allow childcare to become a gender-neutral concept, as existing pay inequality/glass ceiling often makes it more likely for the mom to give up income to care for the child. Not only that, paternal leave is virtually non-existent in the USA, further perpetuating a gender gap when it comes to child-rearing. Better financial freedom and protections for labour will also advance the cause of gender equality.