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Coreidan ,

“Ask women what dating is like”. Good idea if you want a biased one sided opinion.

This article is vomit.

HikingVet ,

Biggest issue with the article. NO male voices, and it’s repeating the same lines I have heard since the mid 00’s.

Now I acknowledge that there hasn’t been much movement on the dating front, but men are only half the problem, as they are only half the population.

They would change in a hurry as a group if they needed to, but men aren’t a monolith and neither are women.

You want men to be better, be better yourself. The article is garbage by saying men need to step up while not talking to them about the issues they face in the dating world. ESPECIALLY if they aren’t Hetronormative.

forrgott ,

So, men are only a problem because…women are the problem?

Wow.

Fuck’s sake, worry about yourself. You want better? Deserve it. Or not, and settle for less. Whatever.

HikingVet , (edited )

An article that wonders why people aren’t getting married says they went out and only asked one side what the problem was. 🤔

Doesn’t even seem balanced…

Edit: as a romance favourable aroace, the dating world was a nightmare, even if you do everything “right”. Which is why I no longer look to find companionship.

Do better or not, there are garbage people in all genders and the prevailing “men bad” when it comes to dating is just as toxic as what the men are doing.

The article also doesn’t suggest any possible solutions.

forrgott ,

Ask a woman what dating is like. You, personally. I dare you.

Only issue is, clearly you won’t listen to their answer.

HikingVet ,

Well, considering dating takes at least 2 people (depending on how you live your life, and yes non-monagamy and polyamory are vaild), asking only one group is incredibly biased.

dangblingus ,

You… missed the point of the article completely.

HikingVet ,

Please explain how this isn’t a bigoted point of view

Ms. Kearney, for example, acknowledges that improving men’s economic position, especially men without college degrees, is an important step toward making them more attractive partners.

Coreidan ,

Odd take. You do realize that a relationship is about TWO people right? It’s not all about you. Shocker right?

Dkarma ,

Yes and one of those ppl is statistically more likely to kill the other. How are u so dense u don’t get his point.

Yes a relationship is 2 people. That’s not relevant here. If one person is shit why do both people need to “work on things”

News flash… They don’t.

Coreidan ,

So your argument is that men as a whole aren’t dateable because an extreme minority of them are unhinged and go on school shootings? Huh?

You hate men. We get it.

Dkarma ,

I’m a man u fucking doughnut for brains.

Coreidan , (edited )

And all you can muster up is hate and insults.

This is why you’re not taken seriously. In other words you’ve shown how completely irrational you are. No point trying to have a rational conversation with someone so completely out of line and irrational.

Best of luck to you.

HikingVet ,

Self hate is a thing that exists.

dangblingus ,

No. Most men are undateable because theyre in a constant state of arrested development and our society rewards brash pomposity.

Coreidan ,

But women aren’t undateable. They are all perfect

👍

AFaithfulNihilist ,
@AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world avatar

There is a widespread, socially disruptive, and sometimes life threatening epidemic of unfuckable dudes.

There are challenges with expectations and entitlements on all sides, but the unfuckable dudes are not rising to meet the challenges.

Coreidan ,

What about all the unfuckable women? Again you look at everything one sided.

Both sexes need to get better. You’re saying that it’s all up to the men. In other words what you’re saying is women don’t have to be responsible for anything, they can act any way they want. A very entitled and selfish attitude.

Did you ever consider that this toxic mentality DRIVES AWAY the good men? Maybe good men want nothing to do with you because of your mentality. That leaves only the toxic men to put up with your bullshit, so that’s all you see.

AFaithfulNihilist ,
@AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world avatar

They aren’t shooting up night clubs, marauding through cities, or lashing out violently out of sexual frustration and a lack of purpose.

Men are doing those things. Look, I get that ‘both sides’ impulse, but unfuckable women don’t pose an existential risk to society, and to be honest, women have to be pretty far gone to qualify as unfuckable.

Angry women aren’t as violent or dangerous as angry men, and the social validation most men are cultured to seek through income, physical prowess, and social success is not as accessible as it once was.

When I was little I noticed that all the father’s were just absent. It seemed to me then that the role of ‘dad’ had been demoted to a placeholder and was existentially diminished in terms of meaning and value. This has a deleterious effect on the sense of purpose of many young men, myself included, but it doesn’t have to define us.

Women are seizing an opportunity for their own self actualization from the oppressive society we live in to find purpose and meaning. Maybe some more men need to do the same.

Coreidan , (edited )

Yikes. You have deep issues.

The thing is no one is arguing that men don’t suck. Plenty of men out there are garbage.

What you’re glossing over is the fact that women have lots of issues as well. There is no shortage of psycho women with deep issues.

Go talk to a “good” man and get their perspective on dating. You’ll get a different picture and you’ll see women are chock full of their own issues. It’s just a different flavor.

The problem is you’ll never do that because you hate men and have no interest in a genuine conversation. Instead it’s all “woe is me, all men suck”.

If you can’t find a good man, it’s not that they don’t exist, but rather you don’t attract them. Maybe work on your attitude and you won’t come off as toxic with tons of baggage and maybe then they will give you a shot.

AFaithfulNihilist ,
@AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world avatar

I like to think that I am a good man, and I know my girlfriend is a good woman.

I know that I wasn’t really ready for the seriousness of relationship some of my ex’s wanted with me and I had to grow up, but I also remembery frustrations with some of them not being mature and self reliant enough to be a reliable partner.

I am very fortunate to be on good terms and friendly with many of my previous partners, and I’m lucky to have been in love several times in my life. I know I am a better person because of the love I have shared and that which has been shared with me.

I’ve seen shitty groups of women do things I thought only happened in strawman arguments, like protest a college club of minority men sharing legal and social resources relevant to their community because ‘mens rights is anti feminist’ or other nonsense. I have also seen men joke about vaginal credit card and bitch about their own odious unfuckablity in the same breath.

People can be shitty, that doesn’t mean you need to make assumptions about them. If you give most people a chance, they will tell you who they are.

Dkarma ,

What about unfuckable women? Do men ever feel threatened by them to the point of feari g for their lives???

You pretend this is one sided but it is literally not the same for women dating as it is for men.

To believe otherwise is incredibly ignorant.

The vast majority of men never consider physical violence against them in a relationship.

The good men arent afraid to admit that men in general need to do a lot better job of respecting women.

You claim: "In other words what you’re saying is women don’t have to be responsible for anything, they can act any way they want. "

No one is saying this. You assumed this. Your assumption is simply incorrect.

This is the definition of a strawman. You’re fitting an argument the other person never made.

Coreidan ,

This is the definition of a strawman. You’re fitting an argument the other person never made.

Except this thread is chock full of you all doing this exact thing.

Listen, nothing will change that there are shitty men out there. Nothing will change that there are also shitty women out there. If you can’t find a decent guy it isn’t because they don’t exist, it’s because YOU aren’t attracting them. This is a YOU problem.

Dkarma ,

Only it isnt and you’re projecting cuz UK you’re completely wrong.

Coreidan , (edited )

Projecting? More like you’re deflecting.

You’re the hateful one here. You’re the angry one. You need a nap.

Dkarma ,

Oh really what did I say that is hateful? You’re still projecting 100% or you just can’t read haha.

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