PeepinGoodArgs

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in [META] What sort of recurrent discussion threads would you like to see here?

I like your take on relationships. It is definitely work to maintain a relationship. God damn. And sometimes trivial stuff to you is super important to them, and no one knows why—okay, I’m just complaining. But I definitely agree. I also found the BDSM community (though I’m very vanilla) very focused on communication. That’s funny, though, right? These “deviant” communities model better approaches to communication than mainstream models.

I’m a huuuuuuuuuge sucker for SciFi especially when the social commentary is really being explored

Oh, hey, more that we have in common lol. I love sci-fi.

I’m starting my last master’s year in 2 weeks so I’ve been looking forward and dreading it at the same time

This must be a joke. I’m currently in my last master’s year. I’m doing an MBA. Never really wanted one but my job is paying for it so…why not? PLus, I enjoy studying. When I was younger, I failed out of college, and somehow convinced myself that studying is kinda fun. That way, when I went back, I’d kill it. And I did.

What’s your master’s for? In any case, if you’ve got this far, you’ve probably overcome most of the really, really hard parts, right?

What are you doing on your end that you don’t end up super bored?

I don’t even know now. I can say that I spend a lot of time playing Dota 2 (god I hate that game…I’m gonna play a match in half an hour lol). I also have this weird obsession with trying to breakdown right-wing arguments entirely for my own benefit. Otherwise, it feels like time passes by so quickly that I don’t do much of anything before something else is due. You know?

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in [META] What sort of recurrent discussion threads would you like to see here?

You should read the short story that Arrival was based on. The book is called Stories of your Life, the Arrival story being “Story of Your Life”. Honestly, I almost cried, it was so beautiful. And I think your interpretation of the movie fits much, much better with the original version. I’m gonna read it again now.

I still have a hard time communicating my needs. I can express my less extreme ones, but they still rile her up. Idk, it’s definitely a work in progress. And I can definitely relate to the difficulty of growing emotionally.

Also, I watched the video you linked, and really liked it. It was like a long form take down of r/relationships.

You are making my days btw with these responses, it feels really nice to write with you. And now that I know you love Arrival, what are other movies that you really liked? :3

I’m enjoying them, too!

As for movies…uhh…idk. I don’t usually watch movies unless I’m super bored. I can’t remember having watched anything worthwhile in a bit. How about you?

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in [META] What sort of recurrent discussion threads would you like to see here?

Finally home to answer this!

Yes Arrival with the aliens from Dennis Villeneuve ( god I’m bad at speeeelling and rememberkng names)

Swoon. I love that movie. It really demonstrates the social construction of meaning at the end. As for your take away, I’d never thought out of it in those terms. What about that movie led you to that conclusion?

What’s the thing that has been most affected of your stance on masculinity by her book would you say?

Oh boy. I’ll try to keep this short. As a married man, it’s not an understatement to say that I feel attacked when bell hooks criticizes patriarchal values for engendering compartmentalization. Somehow, I love my wife while hiding my feelings from her in many cases. And I hide them because…I’m supposed to be a man? I can’t express myself because of my position as a husband? bell hooks reveals this is patently absurd patriarchal thinking.

But it’s not like I’ve kept a stone wall for a face forever. I have become angry enough to express myself in the past. And lo and behold! I’m rejected?! That’s not how it’s supposed to go when a man, as I am, reveals his feelings to his loving wife. bell hooks helped me realize that we’re both caught up in patriarchal thinking. Women rejecting men’s feelings, especially the feelings of men their close to, is just as toxically patriarchal as men rejecting their own feelings.

I guess I didn’t really answer your question exactly, but that’s definitely the most salient way her book as affected me.

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in [META] What sort of recurrent discussion threads would you like to see here?

Hey! I’m currently reading The Will to Change. It’s a short book, but deep. It addresses literally every issue everybody who talks about masculinity has ever mentioned. And, most importantly, it has me reconsidering a few things in my life.

Wait, which Arrival? The one about aliens is my favorite movie. But I don’t think I’ve seen the other one before. Similarly, I have no idea who oliSUNvia is.

As for me, I’m processing The Will to Change and reconsidering my stance to masculinity. It’s an interesting ongoing personal conversation.

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in [META] What sort of recurrent discussion threads would you like to see here?

…what have you been reading/consuming?

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Personal Finance in Which credit cards do you use for maximum rewards?

American Express Blue Cash Preferred. That 6% on groceries comes in clutch with as much food as we buy.

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Politics in The GOP has a master plan to criminalize LGBTQ people

You assume that the other branches of government are fair. That’s dangerous.

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in bell hooks got it

This is not a matter of faith lol. I am no zealot.

I’m curious as to how you understand human nature, though.

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in bell hooks got it

How so? Do you think that women are generally violent towards their children? Isn’t that in direct opposition to how women are often portrayed?

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in bell hooks got it

bell hooks explicitly address the violence women inflict on their sons:

patriarchal mothers who have rage at grown men act out with sons. They may either force the son to enter into an inappropriate relationship in which he must provide for her the emotional connection grown men deny her or engage in emotional abuse in which the son is constantly belittled and shamed. These acts of patriarchal violence serve to reinforce in the mind of boy children that their violence toward females is appropriate. It simply feels like justifiable vengeance. Feminist idealization of mother-hood made it extremely difficult to call attention to maternal sadism, to the violence women enact with children, especially with boys. And yet we know that whether it is a consequence of power dynamics in dominator culture or simply a reflection of rage, women are shockingly violent toward children. This fact should lead everyone to question any theory of gender differences that suggests that women are less violent than men.

Hoenstly, The Will to Change addresses every popular argument about masculinity I’ve seen, and defines and explains the role of patriarchy. Fantastic book. 100/100. Read it. I should’ve read it years ago.

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in Fellas, Is It “Unmanly” to Post a Lot? We call it the “frequent-posting femininity stereotype,” and it’s measurable.

There’s even a tendency for people to think it is unmanly to sleep more, because needing rest is connected to being weak and vulnerable.

Lol. If your idea of manliness is threatened by getting more sleep, you probably need to grow up and take a nap.

PeepinGoodArgs , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in I'm a trans man. I didn't realize how broken men are

in some ways it’s just the way we are.

Is it? What makes you think that our loneliness is inherent to us? How is it inherent to us?

PeepinGoodArgs OP , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in An Comparative Essay on Masculinity

The crisis is then that conservatives don’t want anyone to try any alternatives. They blame the alternatives for economic and social realities. They blame problems on people who think in different ways than they do.

Uhh, well conservatives fundamentally believe that the Old Ways have stood the test of time. Deviating from it is dangerous and can lead to unforeseen consequences. (Conservative rhetoric characterizes all deviations as either a slippery slope into debauchery, a threat to society, or subtly perverse).

So yeah, they blame people who think differently.

PeepinGoodArgs OP , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in An Comparative Essay on Masculinity

It can and does lead to rejection of the male for doing what he thinks he “should” do as a modern man…

This is why my first girlfriend dumped me lol. Talk about an identity crisis

And yeah, it’s interesting that they hold those views even as they suffer from them. Men who hold them can be incredibly violent towards women.

PeepinGoodArgs OP , 10 months ago to Men's Liberation in An Comparative Essay on Masculinity

Thank you! That’s useful information.