PeepinGoodArgs

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PeepinGoodArgs , to Men's Liberation in What's the matter with men? 'Real masculinity' should look to queer community, Gen Z.

“It’s community,” a students said toward the end of class one day. “That’s the thing straight men are really missing.”

I 100% agree with this.

What straight men could learn from queer men – aside from a host of stylistic, hygienic and sex tips – is to have a greater zeal and lust for life.

Not so much with this. I love life. Still, it’d be nice to have friends to turn to.

PeepinGoodArgs , to Men's Liberation in Americans Are Extremely Paranoid About Masculinity. Here's How We Can Get Over It

In our November 1958 issue, in his essay “The Crisis of American Masculinity,” he wrote, “Only a few people at any time in human history have enjoyed the challenge of ‘making’ themselves; most have fled from the unendurable burden of freedom into the womblike security of the group.

Basically, the Republican party.

PeepinGoodArgs , to Politics in 55% of women say listening to Joe Rogan is a red flag

There’s a reason it’s specifically about Barbie…

PeepinGoodArgs OP , to Men's Liberation in The Feminist in Cellblock Y

Feelings of being consistent when you’re not.

PeepinGoodArgs OP , to Men's Liberation in The Feminist in Cellblock Y

I mean…yeah.

That’s exactly what it’s called. Did you watch the video??

But as the original quote says, patriarchy encourages compartmentalization, where men believe they act with integrity when they really don’t. To some extent, then it’s enough to say “that’s just called integrity”. Many men have a false sense of it. How can we differentiate between the two? By referencing the idea of compartmentalization and wholeness.

That is, it’s as complicated as it needs to be for language to describe the exceedingly complex world of human behavior.

PeepinGoodArgs OP , to Men's Liberation in The Feminist in Cellblock Y

What does it mean to be “whole”? Where can I find information on what being whole is? Who decided on that information? Why is being “whole” something we all must aspire to?

So, in The Will to Change, bell hooks is using a concept developed by M. Scott Peck in “Further Along The Road Less Traveled” labeled compartmentalization.

Peck argues that compartmentalization is a way to avoid feeling pain: “We’re all familiar with the man who goes to church on Sunday morning, believing that he loves God and God’s creation and his fellow human beings, but who, on Monday morning, has no trouble with his company’s policy of dumping toxic wastes in the local stream. He can do this because he has religion in one compartment and his business in another.”

And they discuss this concept in the video really well. I added the timestamp at the request of the mod so you can pick up the video where the quote begins. They discuss how they abandoned their ideals in the moment to live up to patriarchal values. That’s not who they really were, but the performance they thought they had to play.

Being whole isn’t an appeal to purity. Nor is it nebulous. It means not wearing a different mask for different occasions, not compartmentalizing, and not playing roles that go against or, worse, undermine your values.

PeepinGoodArgs OP , to Men's Liberation in The Feminist in Cellblock Y

I added it to the original post.

PeepinGoodArgs OP , to Men's Liberation in The Feminist in Cellblock Y

I don’t have time for videos. Give me text.

I feel this.

I think the real challenge is wanting to be a better person enough to really pursue it.

That was one of my criticisms of the video: these men lived up to patriarchal masculine standards and were punished for it. Being in prison can make it really easy to see that an alternative is not only wanted, but desperately needed. It seems only natural to me that there’s a space in prison for discourse like this. I wonder if feminism would’ve have had the same force if it had been offered to these men when they were receiving more rewards from patriarchy, before it’d taken so much from them.

PeepinGoodArgs , to Men's Liberation in [DISCUSSION] Weekly Discussion Wednesday - "Boys and men have been told from birth on to believe that at some point they must be violent, to prove that they are men"

People are, once again, portraying boys and men as a broken by design and pile on the blame rather than helping them grow.

Really, it’s a condemnation of society for breaking boys and men. The passage preserves the opportunity for wholesomeness by having men reject the programs of violence.

And it’s just a case in point if men feel attacked by the passage with a superficial reading and then rush into the arms of toxic influencers who tell them they need to be violent.

PeepinGoodArgs , to Men's Liberation in Vulnerable young men, masculinity and extremism | The Strategist

Then we can call it Emancipatory Masculinity. My takeaway from reading The Will to Change by bell hooks was that boys and men should be free to be who they are and to freely explore what that means. As you say, classic feminist discourse allowed emancipation for women, and the same should be true for masculinity based on feminism.

PeepinGoodArgs , to Men's Liberation in [DISCUSSION] Weekly Discussion Wednesday - "Boys and men have been told from birth on to believe that at some point they must be violent, to prove that they are men"

In the first 30 seconds, Peterson both encourages men to be “competent and dangerous” and says criticizes the young men that commit mass shootings as weak. In the above passage, bell hooks reveals how contradictory that is and how the the need to be competent and dangerous leads to mass shootings. They’re the same side of the coin.

PeepinGoodArgs , to Men's Liberation in Gender bias deters men from healthcare, early education, and domestic career fields, study suggests

I’ve wondered why more young men aren’t nurses. That can be a very lucrative career, albeit also very demanding. And it would address the nursing shortage.

PeepinGoodArgs , to Politics in "War on Mexico": Republicans ramp up calls for military action as they blast Democrats as warmongers

I was told that this was “just rhetoric” on a conservative instance. So, it’s okay. They’re just looking for support.

The same person also told me he lived under a rock. So…ya know…critical thinking.

PeepinGoodArgs , (edited ) to Men's Liberation in [DISCUSSION] Weekly Discussion Wednesday - "Learning to wear a mask is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns"

I remember when I was younger and I was at basketball practice. I was nervous pretty frequently, and so I would laugh to diffuse the tension within myself. My dad was there supervising or being an assistant coach or something. Idk. But—and I remember this very clearly—the coach told me to stop smiling because “it makes you look weak.” I looked to my dad for some sort of support and he just shrugged. Fortunately, I didn’t internalize that message.

But I always remember that moment as someone trying to crush some of the boyish joy I had in life. Like, yeah, I was nervous, and laughter seemed like a perfectly reasonable solution. But my father and the coach had grown up in a very, very different environment where moments of happiness weren’t nearly as abundant as they were in my life.

For reference, my father grew up in Atlanta, GA during the Civil Rights Era as an African American. So, it definitely wasn’t all snips, snails, and puppy-dog tails. My coach (also an African American and about my dad’s age) and my father’s emotional self-mutilation was an act of survival. I get that.

But still, looking back, it sucks a lot that they reinforced that sense of danger they’d internalized over the course of their lives and tried to pass it on to me. What sucks even more is that, while I didn’t internalize that particularly patriarchal message, I did internalize others.

I just want to be happy and feel safe. Why is that so much to ask?

PeepinGoodArgs , to Politics in [News] A Texas judge has declared unconstitutional a law championed by Gov. Greg Abbott that limits the power of Democrat-led cities

Too many of my fellow Americans would literally shoot themselves dead before they do that.

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