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FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I have an evil dog. A very evil dog. If she could make a wish, the first would would be for an infinite number of baby bunnies to eat because the day she found the nest of baby bunnies and ate them all was the best day of her life and her second wish would be for an infinite number of other things to kill and then play with after she’s killed them.

The other one would wish for me to scratch his belly until the end of time, so I’m not giving him any wishes.

KevonLooney ,

That’s not evil. Lots of dogs were bred for thousands of years to hunt small animals. It’s like asking you not to like eating ice cream.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Were they also bred to play with them for hours and not let anyone near them until you trick them into letting them go?

And then there was the time she brought half a squirrel through the dog door. Just half a squirrel.

betterdeadthanreddit ,

She’s learning to share. Good dog!

Or, if those happened in reverse order: She’s learning that you don’t want her to share the animals. Good dog!

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

She still doesn’t want to share. She just forgot she left it on the living room floor.

Oh, and there was another time she brought in half a rabbit.

betterdeadthanreddit ,

To be fair, who hasn’t set down the half squirrel they were gnawing on and forgotten about it? Maybe the half squirrel and half rabbit were supposed to go together and make an even more fun animal to maim and kill play with. Cute little Dogtor Frankenstein.

CaptnNMorgan ,

I feel like you aren’t actually thinking about what it would be like for your dog to come inside with dead animals

betterdeadthanreddit ,

Understandable. I am familiar with the experience, it comes with the territory when inviting a dog (or cat, for that matter) to be part of your family from time to time.

CaptnNMorgan ,

I meant to comment that to flyingsquid, my bad

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Unfortunately, they were both the back end of the creature, so unless you want to attach the butt of a squirrel to the butt of a rabbit and hope it springs to life, I think that wouldn’t work.

CaptnNMorgan ,

I feel like you aren’t actually thinking about what it would be like for your dog to come inside with dead animals

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Other than the fact that it’s happened many times, sure.

CaptnNMorgan ,

Than why are you acting like it’s the same thing as a stuffed animal?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’m not?

Misconduct ,

Well that just sounds like a nickelodeon show waiting to happen!

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