It varies widely from one community to another, but Lemmy is certainly much smaller than reddit. I think that some communities have hit the tipping point where there are enough people to keep things going. The smaller communities are still working at that, but they still provide useful information and good company. Lemmy is growing so I expect the situation to improve over time.
Personally I haven’t run into the kind of hostility that some people are reporting. It’s sad that it’s out there, but be aware that it is not the universal Lemmy experience. I suspect it depends heavily on what communities you frequent and what instance you are on. Eventually I expect the toxic areas to implode, or just drift away into isolation, as they are replaced by similar communities with better members and better moderation.
Answering questions and commenting get you a barrage of downvotes if you deviate from the hive. Asking questions gets you a barage of downvotes. There are a bunch of angry abusive people here that discourage any discussion or debate.
I try not to focus on them at all because it gives you a preconceived opinion on the comment. That doesn’t seem very helpful in a discussion based community.