What's the matter with men? 'Real masculinity' should look to queer community, Gen Z. ( www.usatoday.com )

PeepinGoodArgs , 8 months ago

“It’s community,” a students said toward the end of class one day. “That’s the thing straight men are really missing.”

I 100% agree with this.

What straight men could learn from queer men – aside from a host of stylistic, hygienic and sex tips – is to have a greater zeal and lust for life.

Not so much with this. I love life. Still, it’d be nice to have friends to turn to.

cyborganism , 8 months ago

Absolutely. Every time there’s a “men’s only” activity, other groups are quick to call out sexual discrimination.

There are some good things men can pick up from the queer community. They, of all people, play with what defines masculinity all the time. Queer women who want to be more masculine, trans men wanting to be identified as men, etc. They use aspects of masculinity to define themselves.

The thing with cis men is that for the longest time, masculinity has been defined through agressivity, violence, repression of emotions and domination. These are aspects that need to be removed in order to redefine masculinity.

Also, recently, men have been criticised and even mocked for various aspects of masculinity. Like the desire to be strong, liking certain things like sports or cars and trucks or action movies or horses or whatever, to dress a certain way, or just wanting to do general boy stuff.

But the one that hurts the most is how everyone is blaming everything the last bit negative on all men. Or pinning only a handful of men’s behavior on every man, ever. And basically saying that all men are inherently toxic and deserve to be eliminated. And as soon as someone speaks up and says “not all men” there always someone who’ll reply mockingly “nOt AlL mEN”, like it’s an invalid response to so much hatred and misandry.

Yes, a lot of men are toxic and patriarchy has hurt society in many ways. It also hurts men as well. But we have to differentiate between the good and the bad ones. I mean, women aren’t all angels either. And there are many other queer folk who aren’t nice and they probably have their own toxic traits. Basically everyone has their faults and some of the responsibility of the bad stuff should be shared.