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AuthorInkwell ,
@AuthorInkwell@kbin.social avatar

I stopped reading at the phrase "purpose and people officer". I suffered from toxic levels of corporate bullshit when I was younger and I have a strong averse reaction to it now. Someone is getting paid six figures to have a bullshit title like that and it is ABSOLUTELY proof of what is wrong with the corporate class.

hawkwind ,
@hawkwind@lemmy.management avatar

HR_LiNdA entered the chat.

Hi! I’m Linda, an AI representative from your HR department!

I heard you’re unhappy with your organization’s new Subject Matter Office for Lifestyle, People and Purpose, or SMOLPP.

It’s natural to be afraid of something new like your SMOLPP, but companies big and small across the planet are happy with their SMOLPP! I’ll send you some world class research material from Deloitte (your organization’s SMOLPP innovation partner, and industry leader) for you to read later!

I’m happy to listen to your comments and concern, or answer any questions you might have about your SMOLPP!

So how can I help you?

FinalFallacy ,
@FinalFallacy@kbin.social avatar

Uh, I'm trying to find out if we're getting paid before or after the holiday?

hawkwind ,
@hawkwind@lemmy.management avatar

I’m an AI language model and don’t have access to specific information about your company’s payroll schedule or policies. To find out whether you will be paid before or after the holiday, I recommend reaching out to your human resources department or payroll administrator. They will have the most accurate and up-to-date information regarding your company’s payment schedule. They will be able to provide you with the details you need about when you can expect to receive your payment.

Introversion ,

I’m an AI language model and don’t have access to specific information about your company’s payroll schedule or policies.

Well, that’s a clear indication that you’re not an LLM — they very confidently assert bullshit they manufacture on the spot.

hawkwind ,
@hawkwind@lemmy.management avatar

That’s a very complex topic. Consider this list of solutions that I found on google and have massaged to sound relevant and appealing:

LucasWaffyWaf ,

Fuck mate, I’d totally give ya gold for your SMOLPP if that was a thing

falsem ,

Someone make a shitty 'lemmy silver' jpeg

falsem ,

Please tell me more about my SMOLPP

HubertManne ,
@HubertManne@kbin.social avatar

purpose is great and all but another tactic is to pay high enough that I take the job.

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