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hoodlem ,

Instead, it explores new expectations for boys and men, such as emotional availability and vulnerability, traits which traditionally belonged to women. Traditional masculinity finds adaptation of those expectations challenging and difficult.

What is unfortunate is that many women still have traditional views of masculinity. Including traits such as emotional availability and vulnerability. These traits clash with their (subconscious?) views of gender roles. It can and does lead to rejection of the male for doing what he thinks he “should” do as a modern man.

Thank you for taking the time to write and share this. I’ll read more and comment when I have more time.

PeepinGoodArgs OP ,

It can and does lead to rejection of the male for doing what he thinks he “should” do as a modern man…

This is why my first girlfriend dumped me lol. Talk about an identity crisis

And yeah, it’s interesting that they hold those views even as they suffer from them. Men who hold them can be incredibly violent towards women.

hoodlem ,

When I opened up to a girlfriend about anxiety I was feeling about an upcoming moment, she told me to “be a a man”. :-(

Phoenixbouncing ,

I’m very lucky to have a healthy relationship with my partner where we can both be vulnerable and we support each other.

That said, to get there I also had to integrate the fact that I could be vulnerable whilst also being confident and assert my beliefs, views and opinions (in a healthy way).

This will be a controversial recommendation but “Models” by Mark Manson was instrumental for me in finding this new road to being masculine but in a way that was healthy and respectful. The chapters on aggressive/assertive vulnerability and living your truth especially.

I feel that men today need to learn to live their truth, be proud of that truth and not hide it under traditional gender normes (aka agressivité and blatent sexism) or make it subservant to attone for some original sin linked to their sex.

All humans deserve respect and all humans deserve to be able to speak their inner truth and be vulnerable and accepted, no matter their sex or gender.

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