As has been discussed already here in this community, the key takeaway from the bear hypothetical is that it is an opportunity to truly listen to the lived experiences of women under patriarchal systems. I encourage "first response" to the bear discussion to head back to this post, as I am looking for discussion kind of after...
On the way home from work I stepped off a bus and turned in the direction of home. A young woman who was a few steps ahead of me was being verbally harassed with overtly sexual language by a man. I stepped between them, facing the dude, and told him to fuck off and walk away. Some words were exchanged, and eventually he turned around and walked away. I watch him for a minute or two, then turned around and walked home. The woman he was harassing was long gone.
When I got home and relayed this story to my girlfriend, she said this sort of interaction was COMMON. She'd never mentioned it in the nearly 10 years we'd been dating. It was normal to her. My response was "What the actual fuck? That's bullshit." But it was her reality, and the reality of the woman I saw, and probably dozens or hundreds more, every day.
We collectively need to do better. We need to stop doing it ourselves, and stop our friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and even strangers from doing it. We need to raise the average and be better.
I know more than one of these men that women would rather not take a chance with... The JR/AT/JP/TradWife/dudebro types. When I asked my girlfriend about the choices, she chose 'bear' immediately, and specifically called out someone we knew, saying, "Would YOU want me to encounter <dudebro> in the forest if I didn't know him?" And she was right -- I'd prefer she choose the bear...
And that's tragically fucking sad that someone I know is so far down the 'dudebro' rabbit hole that I wouldn't leave my GF alone with him in a compromised position.
Few bears hunt mammals (but we've all seen photos of them hunting fish) but when they do, they hunt young deer/elk/moose, and are more likely to scavenge winter kills or fresh kills made by others (wolves/big cats/etc.).
Dude, get some therapy. The world isn't as harsh and bleak as you imply, and if your life experience hasn't already shown you that, you need to stop throwing yourself a pity party and start working on getting better so you can enjoy your life.
I think the snag is that “talk to your partner” is a boring, factual, real-world response to most questions – which is very, very good advice… that nobody wants to hear.
Meh. Both people not understanding what they want or how to solve a problem is entirely possible, but the solution to that is to try a few different things and talk some more. Maybe that could be the hook… Talking to couples instead of just one person. Anyway. As much as I’d love for someone to pay me to talk about sex all day, it’s not happening.
Yup, been with my partner for over a decade. Live together, not married, no kids. Originally there was some talk of marriage, but I’ve always said that there’s no reason to insert the state or the church into our relationship. There’s nothing stopping either of us from leaving the relationship if we’re not into it any more. It keeps us treating each other with respect, knowing that there’s no higher authority telling us we have to stay together until we spend thousands of dollars in paperwork and waiting periods.
When libido is a burden, some men turn to unproven treatments ( www.salon.com )
Next steps after the bear
As has been discussed already here in this community, the key takeaway from the bear hypothetical is that it is an opportunity to truly listen to the lived experiences of women under patriarchal systems. I encourage "first response" to the bear discussion to head back to this post, as I am looking for discussion kind of after...
About the bear...
So, I'm just assuming we've all seen the discussions about the bear....
The Perception Paradox: Men Who Hate Feminists Think Feminists Hate Men ( msmagazine.com )
Why do hardly any straight men write about sex and dating? | Imogen West-Knights ( www.theguardian.com )
Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights
Opinion | Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like. ( www.nytimes.com )
Harping on people to get married from up in the ivory tower fails to engage with reality of life in the dating trenches.