Fediverse dating app? ( kbin.social )

This is just a thought I had that I wanted to bounce off people who know more about ActivityPub/the fediverse— would it be feasible (and would it make sense) to build an open-source, ActivityPub-compatible dating app as an alternative to Tinder/Bumble/etc.? And if so, what could that look like? Obviously the small userbase would be an issue, but I feel like there's enough frustration with the mainstream apps that there'd be at least some migration if a good decentralized & non-commercial option existed. I know I'd use it. What do y'all think?

density ,
@density@kbin.social avatar

How would you manage stalking, harassment, impersonation, assault and various other kinds of violence? This is not a place for laissez-faire management.

You need to consider the social side prior to the technical side.

If you are in the US, how are you going to manage compliance with FOSTA SESTA? or your local equivalent?

If you could figure that out, pick some sort of small market in which to establish it, such as a certain subculture in a limited geographic area. That's how things used to get released and it is much more amenable to success. Do you remember when facebook or craigslist "opened" in your location? It's better to have 100 people on a dating site that are in physical proximity than 1000 people who are remote from each other. Even better if those 100 people share some sort of affinity. If you are thinking of a hetro(/bi/pan) site you are going to need something that lots of women are interested in, so federated social networks can't be it.

audrbox OP ,
@audrbox@kbin.social avatar

These are great things to think about, thank you! It definitely feels like it would be a big undertaking if it did happen, and starting small seems like the right move.

density ,
@density@kbin.social avatar

@audrbox I am interested to know if you have any thoughts on the questions I raised.

kglitch ,

Privacy matters with this type of app and ActivityPub is not very private.

https://blog.bloonface.com/2023/07/04/the-fediverse-is-a-privacy-nightmare/

bedrooms ,

DMs in Fediverse can be shared to other instances. So, I wouldn't do that.

PropaGandalf ,
@PropaGandalf@lemmy.world avatar

Just implement XMPP, SimpleX or even Matrix for DMs. You dont have to do everything over ActivityPub.

0xtero ,

would it be feasible (and would it make sense) to build an open-source, ActivityPub-compatible dating app as an alternative to Tinder/Bumble/etc.?

Sure, why not - most of the stuff is already in the protocol.
Profile, Favorites, Boosts and messaging.

If it would make sense. ..
Well that's a hard question :-D

Emperor ,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

If it would make sense. …

It kinda does make sense. You have specialist dating services:

  • Kinky
  • Uniform dating
  • Pensioners
  • At least one newspaper had a dating service for people who were politically similar
  • Sugar daddies

And on and on.

So each of those could be an instance so people with similar… needs are grouped together but it’s federated, so you could be on a Democrat dating instance but also throw your hook into the pool of pensioners or Californians, etc, etc.

PropaGandalf ,
@PropaGandalf@lemmy.world avatar

Or for queer people or people with different philosophies in general like it already works with fediverse instances now. Some will allow nudes others may be more for romantic relationshipsor even just for buliding freindships. Everyone can decide which instance they want to join.

Emperor ,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

Exactly - each instance can have its own niche and set it’s own guidelines. As they aren’t walled gardens of you are on a furry dating instance but want to throw your hook in with one catering to fans of anime, then that’d be OK too.

It has a lot of intriguing potential.

PropaGandalf ,
@PropaGandalf@lemmy.world avatar

Exactly, also the DM could be handled through XMPP, SimpleX or Matrix. The rest (following, liking, bookmarking, etc.) is already there.

Emperor ,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

Indeed - Lemmy integrates well with Matrix and there’s no reason that can’t be done here as the main issue would be the security of the messages exchanged.

The other bonus is open and clear matching algorithms. It’s in the interest of commercial dating apps to keep the majority of their users always hopefully but never quite there (or they’d run out of business, so, ironically, they’re business model relies on not being successful) and I suspect they use some shifty practices in the matching algorithms.

PropaGandalf ,
@PropaGandalf@lemmy.world avatar

Exactly. Thats the whole thing behind the swiping algorithm. Its one of the most manipulative and superficial social algorithms. I’d love to have more open ones if any at all to actually find easier what you really want. Filtering, some different content displaying methods or software UI are just some exapmles. Why not using our psychological capabilities to our benefit instead of monetiting and exloiting them.

sj_zero ,
@SJ_Zero@lemmy.fbxl.net avatar

One big problem is that a fediverse dating app would be honest and most are scummy and fraudulent.

Fake profiles, fake messages, it looks like the place to be.

Narrrz ,

if don't know why it would be more specifically honest than other apps. that's really only defined by the user base, and their behaviour is likely to be shaped by what gets results. which, for better or, more likely, worse, seems to be that type of fake profile shit.

with luck there's be fewer bots, though. I don't think I got more than one single match with a real person while I was on tinder (I'm in nz, though, so pulsation density is definitely a factor there)

sj_zero ,
@SJ_Zero@lemmy.fbxl.net avatar

My argument about why would be more honest than other apps is that it would be distributed and self-hosted. Most dating apps are trying to eventually monetize you. It isn’t that the users are more or less honest, is that the platform for themselves are less honest because they need to make you feel like it’s worthwhile popping money on their dating website. Moreover, a self-hosted solution doesn’t need to impress investors by having 12 billion users.

EatALime , (edited )
@EatALime@kbin.social avatar

Even if you ditch the monetization and manage to find a way to keep out third party bots (who will still want to show up and part lonely men from their money), I promise there are a lot of scummy legitimate users of dating sites. Men have to wade through a thousand bots, women have to wade through a thousand jerks who ignore all their preferences and boundaries.

As a woman, my biggest problem isn't the terrible monetization schemes of the dating sites and it's not the bots because the bots don't waste their time on me. It's the users themselves. Many people put fake ages, so you'll try to date someone your own age and get propositioned by lots of people who are of an entirely different generation than you. All interactions are private which means there's no community policing. Yeah, I don't like talking intimately in front of a public audience either, but if a guy is too clingy and persistent with a woman in a room full of people, her body language will show her distress and other people sometimes step in and tell him to back off and give her a break and he might even get kicked out if he is annoying enough. On dating sites the guys with no regards for boundaries can send a thousand vulgar unsolicited messages with no repercussions. The good, respectful men and their messages get drowned out by the flood of disrespect. The fediverse can't fix that problem.

I am a shy introvert and large gatherings aren't really my thing, but online dating is a total bust for me. I found my first boyfriend through AOL in the 90s and have given online dating many tries because I am so dang shy in person and find it easier to write my thoughts than speak them, but the cost/benefit ratio just hasn't panned out.

fossilesque ,
@fossilesque@mander.xyz avatar

There already is one.

github.com/Alovoa/alovoa

audrbox OP ,
@audrbox@kbin.social avatar

Thanks, I've seen Alovoa! Is it federated though? I couldn't find anything about that. I feel like having different instances you could join would add a lot, e.g. you could be on an instance for specific hobbies, identities, etc.

fossilesque ,
@fossilesque@mander.xyz avatar

Yeah, it’s another early development thing, and I don’t think it’s fully integrated yet with ActivityPub but last I heard that was the direction it was leaning but I have not kept up with it.

PabloDiscobar ,
@PabloDiscobar@kbin.social avatar

The stalker paradise!

NettoHikari ,
@NettoHikari@social.fossware.space avatar

social.fossware.space/post/26856

It is a thing.

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