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Rodeo ,

To be whole men must practice integrity.

I think the missing thing here is in that word “whole”. What does it mean to be “whole”? Where can I find information on what being whole is? Who decided on that information? Why is being “whole” something we all must aspire to?

The entire argument is based on the appeal to purity fallacy. They’ve invented this nebulous higher standard which, by definition, excludes the men they perceive as being “unwhole”.

PeepinGoodArgs OP ,

What does it mean to be “whole”? Where can I find information on what being whole is? Who decided on that information? Why is being “whole” something we all must aspire to?

So, in The Will to Change, bell hooks is using a concept developed by M. Scott Peck in “Further Along The Road Less Traveled” labeled compartmentalization.

Peck argues that compartmentalization is a way to avoid feeling pain: “We’re all familiar with the man who goes to church on Sunday morning, believing that he loves God and God’s creation and his fellow human beings, but who, on Monday morning, has no trouble with his company’s policy of dumping toxic wastes in the local stream. He can do this because he has religion in one compartment and his business in another.”

And they discuss this concept in the video really well. I added the timestamp at the request of the mod so you can pick up the video where the quote begins. They discuss how they abandoned their ideals in the moment to live up to patriarchal values. That’s not who they really were, but the performance they thought they had to play.

Being whole isn’t an appeal to purity. Nor is it nebulous. It means not wearing a different mask for different occasions, not compartmentalizing, and not playing roles that go against or, worse, undermine your values.

Rodeo ,

That’s just called integrity.

There are already words for these things, there is no need to make up overly complicated variations on it, especially when these variations are actually more vague than just using the word integrity.

PeepinGoodArgs OP ,

I mean…yeah.

That’s exactly what it’s called. Did you watch the video??

But as the original quote says, patriarchy encourages compartmentalization, where men believe they act with integrity when they really don’t. To some extent, then it’s enough to say “that’s just called integrity”. Many men have a false sense of it. How can we differentiate between the two? By referencing the idea of compartmentalization and wholeness.

That is, it’s as complicated as it needs to be for language to describe the exceedingly complex world of human behavior.

Rodeo ,

How about “consistent”, then? What’s more complicated about this than a simple lack of consistency?

PeepinGoodArgs OP ,

Feelings of being consistent when you’re not.

gapbetweenus ,

“Not being whole” is often used a metaphor to describe varying degrees of feeling of inadequacy, since it feels like you lack something.

stepan ,
@stepan@lemmy.ca avatar

Agreed, this gets frustrating sometimes because it’s so common in a lot of articles talking about this issue.

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