I’m sad that this comic is still needed. I thought we figured this out a while ago. I remember being super weirded out at a colleague saying he worshipped women. That moment and probably things I read around the time solidified in my kind to treat women and other genders the same as I’d men.
The comic is a bit long but is very spot on. I work as a developer and if there’s a girl with us (there’s none) that would be my first instinct to do. Overly helpful and all that. I don’t know why but that’s what I would do.
I think you overestimate how open minded the average person is. People are quick to reject an argument when it doesn’t conform to their world views. This comic is long because it tries to address most doubts about it. It’s slow to get to the point to avoid triggering the visceral reaction some people have to feminist theories.
Nobody who is not open minded is going to read long ass comic, that is contradicting their world view. Seems like preaching to the choir type of situation to me, makes the artis feel good but misses the audience that would profit from the message.
I think there are a good amount of people who are on the fence who would be persuaded by the detailed argument in this comic. The thing that the author is trying to convince people of is subtle and invisible to most people.
How do you tell people that this invisible thing exists and that they might be the one perpetuating it without putting them off?
It’s like asking your well meaning friends not to use ‘retarded’ as an insult. Sure, they aren’t saying this to hurt disabled people, but they are unaware that it does. The best way to change their minds isn’t by saying ‘you’re offensive’ and decry their character. It’s by slowly and gently telling them that you know they don’t mean to, but this thing that they say hurts people.
I’m not saying that we need to walk on eggshells around every offensive person, I’m saying that slow drawn out explanations without directly criticizing people is what works.
I think there are a good amount of people who are on the fence who would be persuaded by the detailed argument
I can see that point, thank you. I was more thinking about people being totally opposed, but yeah - for someone on the fence who is genuinely looking into the Argument that would be indeed a very nice comic.
I honestly do not understand what you are trying to say. Are you implying this comic is one of the “all men are bad” category? Are you parodying how incels would react to a post like this?
No. I’m just tired of all the blame men are getting. It’s like being a man makes you inherently a bad, evil person and a persecutor of women.
Men have their flaws, sure. And yes there is toxic masculinity. But at some point, blaming men all the time for everything is like they’re using them as scapegoats for their own shortcomings. Fait exemple, is it because of men that this author isn’t assertive?
And I also disagree with her other one about the mental load over responsibilities in her household and how men are lazy. And how, according to her, it’s all women who have this problem and all men are like this. In my household, I’m the one who takes care of these things. I’m the one who plans groceries, thinks about repairs, thinks about laundry, cleaning, dishes, cooking, etc. Yet my girlfriend used her fucking comic to point out to me that I’m the lazy one in the house somehow because I have a dick and balls and spend longer periods in the bathroom than her.
She has a problem with assertiveness and she blames men for her own shortcomings.
And I’m so sick and tired of the anti-men bullshit that it’s really affecting my self esteem and my perception of myself. I can’t express how I feel about this either because someone will just repeat some fucking anti-men text they read off of some feminist meme and mock me by saying “nOt AlL mEn”. As if “yes all men are bad”. I’ve seen girl friends post shit on social media where they said all men should die and even mocked articles about suicide rates in men. They also laughed as they reposted articles about men committing suicide.
At some point, when are we going to recognize there is some toxic feminists who are just outright mysandrists and there is nothing men will ever do to make them happy?
Or maybe that’s the solution isn’t it? Maybe I should just fucking kill myself and do all women a big fucking favor.
So? This happens to other men as well. This isn’t always men’s fault. It can be sexism in some cases, but in others it can be about keeping control over employees or not wanting to give promotions because the company wants to cut costs.
I’ve been fired for trying to be assertive once. I was sick of not getting better working conditions and better pay for the work I was doing compared to my peers and was laid off with some bullshit excuse. I was soon replaced with someone else who was paid less and didn’t complain. But I’m a dude. So…?
I know my shortcomings. I know that, like the author, I lack assertiveness. Maybe that explains why I face the same problem she does. Except, I’m a man. Should I also blame men for what’s happening to me?
Men face a lot of pressure from society. Society has a lot of expectations for men in general. Maybe that’s what’s driving up the suicide rate among men. Add to that the total lack of any support network for men, and lack of support for male victims of abuse. But I suppose we should blame ourselves for this as well?
You don’t represent men and certainly not me. If you feel personally attacked enough to write a novel about it in a Lemmy thread, maybe you are the problem.
I think you are conflating men with the patriarchy. These two things are different. Men are people, and people are diverse with unique thoughts and feelings. The patriarchy is a system that causes men and women to behave in gender conforming ways that are harmful to both.
This comic isn’t criticizing men as a whole, it’s criticizing the social conditioning that many men go through that make them unaware of how certain speech and actions impact women.
When comics like this are asking men to be mindful of benevolent sexism, it’s not saying ‘men are sexist’, it’s asking men to be aware of this phenomenon and take steps to stop themselves and others from perpetuating it.
You might not express benevolent sexism, but your friends, family, and colleagues might, and you can be an ally when by pointing it out when you see it.
Too often when women face subtle forms of sexism, they are prohibited from speaking up due to the downplay and backlash they get. Subtle forms of sexism are very hard to point out without being labeled as bitchy or oversensitive.
I know it may not feel like it but this is what healthy masculinity means in this day and age. There is nothing more respectable than men speaking up to other men and holding each other to higher standards. It’s incredibly powerful for men to speak up and support women in this because men who perpetuate benevolent sexism generally tend to listen to other men.
