I’ll preface that my dad is a good dad, not perfect, and I love him, but some of this article was painful to read.
It’s ironic, but independence isn’t something you can learn all by yourself. Boys need tolerant, empathetic adults in their lives in order to become self-reliant. They need to know that we care about and value them, even when we don’t agree with their desires and decisions.
This hurt to read. My dad was brutal if you were going against his wishes. He would really pressure you and it killed my older brother’s relationship with him for over a decade after a major falling out. There were many years where my dad didn’t get to see his own grandson except once a year, all over things which in hindsight turned out perfectly fine.
Why do they do this? Mostly because they simply aren’t aware of boys’ greater need for what Tronick calls “emotional scaffolding.” In fact, many of them still operate from a dusty playbook on masculinity that tells them to toughen up their sons
My dad, very explicitly, had the position that if you didn’t do manly things you would turn out gay. Gay was bad, and so was going effeminate things. He wasn’t alone back then either, he got that pressure from his whole family. There was a lot of those old fashioned ideas of masculinity growing up, which my mom rightfully called stupid.
I like my relationship with my dad a lot now, he’s changed a lot, and he’s a much better dad than when I was younger. When I was a kid he was intimidating, but could also be very fun, and you really wanted to make him happy.
I don’t know what changed, but over the years he’s really chilled out, he’s a great listener, and he’s got a bunch of creative hobbies that frankly he would have made judged himself about if he were the same as 30 years ago.
Ask that to say, some wounds still hurt, but also people can change for the better. This information is getting out there and hopefully we can all kill off our toxic masculinity biases.
The computer can’t create everything, that’s why gold is near worthless and latinum is eternal.
Paying for food or drink would be for recipes not programmed into your own replicator, or when you’re not at home with your own. Star fleet seems paternal about healthy stuff like synthehol.
!Picard, as Locutus of Borg, killed Sisko’s wife at the battle of Wolf 359. The four lights reference is related to an episode where Picard is tortured and to price his well is broken the cardiacs want him to say there are 4 lights when there were actually 5. Picard never breaks during his torture and quite emotionally yells “there are five lights”!<
The ‘manning up of boys begins in the cradle.’ But what boys really need is emotional support from their dads ( www.wbur.org )
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If you're cold, they're cold. Let them in. ( startrek.website )
Selfies with friends ( i.redd.it )
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20th december, got the star gazer in my advent calendar ( lemmy.world )
Starbucks told to reopen stores Labor board finds were closed over union organizing ( www.axios.com )
a federation shuttle craft on day 7 ( lemmy.world )
How did money work on deep space 9?
Whenever there’s a storyline with quark, they talk about money/latinum....
This guy is building a 1/25 scale model of the TOS Enterprise ( youtu.be )
Super cool to get a feel for just how massive even the pre-refit Constitution class is.
Who's your favourite character and why?
"You know Ben, I'm glad I killed your wife" ( startrek.website )