a-man-from-earth

a-man-from-earth , 9 months ago

The problem is that Kbin sucks as well. For example, /m/science lacks actual moderators and gets flooded with spam on the regular. And even where there are active moderators, moderation actions often do not get federated.

I was hoping these issues would get fixed soon, but here we are, three months after the Reddit apocalypse, and Kbin is still not a fully functional platform. For example, I filed bug #1102 fifteen days ago, and this has still not been resolved. And bug #570 has been open since early July.

If Kbin wants to become and stay relevant, it needs more hands on deck.

GizmoLion , 9 months ago

Jesus H Christ... congrats on being the one millionth person on kbin to say "What are YOU doing?" while talking down their literal list of what they are doing.

a-man-from-earth is right, Kbin is in a sorry state right now. I still get asked to login when I want to comment, despite being logged in, at which point it takes me to the home page. Viewing a reply to your comment is still not pagination-aware.

Ernest has said this version of kbin is frozen until he rolls out the next, hopefully the end of September, so by his own admission Kbin as we know and use it is the same pile it was months ago. That said I remain hopeful that the next rollout will be a big improvement.

Back to the topic, if the site isn't easy and intuitive to use, or if it's broken and remains a thorn for a long time, then you can't expect people to go out of their way to do the thing you want them to do. That's not how the world works.

a-man-from-earth has submitted bug fixes to try and improve the site so people might be more willing to stick around and post themselves, while you're just posting content that'll eventually become irrelevant. What are YOU doing? (See? It's asinine right?)

a-man-from-earth , 9 months ago

So, I post content (on average once every 3 days, despite my drop in activity this month), I engage in the comments (more than you do, if we're counting), I moderate a community, and I file bug reports in an attempt to make this a better platform.

So yes, I am doing my part, and that does qualify me to comment on the state of Kbin. Suggesting I don't is toxicity we don't need here.

And pretending that Kbin is just fine won't help this platform to become successful. And yes, despite my criticisms, I want this to be a successful Reddit replacement. But it's struggling to become relevant, and I'm frustrated with its lack of progress.

People want stuff to read, not people to point at 'the problem.'

People also want interesting discussions on topics they care about. I know that because for years I was a moderator of a small but active subreddit.

The m/men magazine I moderate used to be the #20 most active one on Kbin, a place you're now proudly proclaiming m/scifi has...

I'm waiting to see if ernest's promised next version of Kbin will actually improve things, especially on the moderation side. Otherwise I have to reconsider where to direct my efforts.

a-man-from-earth , 10 months ago

Did you read the pinned welcome thread?

It is because we are egalitarian and pro-human that we are pro-men as well as pro-women. And because men are human and have human rights, men also deserve to have their rights advocated for. This community welcomes everyone who comes without hate or bigotry, to discuss men's issues.

a-man-from-earth , 11 months ago

No, just no. This is a typical "forever alone" take, and the proposed solutions are unrealistic at best. Not gonna happen.

How are we supposed to take the lead and approach while keeping women safe at the same time when approaching her could make her feel uncomfortable

By being gentlemen about it. Be confident in our approach, but be respectful when turned down.

And understand that many women react the way they do because of a series of negative experiences they've had. It's tragic that bad men ruin it for the good ones. But that shouldn't mean the good ones should give up.

Men already deal with the expectation to approach and make the first move. If you put that much pressure on men, it's gonna make them wanna find communities that will tell them how to do exactly that. Guess where they turn to? The redpill/PUA.

Because there are so few places that teach positive and respectful ways of dating. I really think this is an issue primarily of education (by other men and by male communities, as well as parents). Most boys are left to their own devices when it comes to this, which means peer groups, social media, and Hollywood. Is it any wonder they don't learn healthy behaviors?

TRP and PUA at least offer solutions that work to some extent, unhealthy as they may be. Where are the healthy alternatives?

So the first step here is for society to stop expecting men to make the first move and not just that. Stop expecting them to read signs (especially signs women gives as an invitation as her "first move" as they're subtle, not obvious), stop expecting men to start flirting, and stop expecting men to be the first ones to initiate conversations about sex.

Not gonna work. This is too deeply ingrained in our nature, which evolved over millions of years. Sperm is cheap, and pregnancy is still a heavy burden. Most women are always going to be more careful about selecting who to have sex and relationships with. Take it as a fact of nature.

I'm not saying it can't change, but don't build your dating strategy on expecting it to change. That's how guys end up forever alone.

I don't believe we as a society (given our current practices) should partake in active agency with dating until we've gotten rid of those expectations.

and

We should not be doing any active courting in dating nor give out any dating advice until we have reached a point where society doesn't expect men to be the initiators all the time.

Then enjoy being forever alone. Most men are going to pass on that, because it is unnatural, and the urge to have sex and to be in a relationship is simply too strong.

Your proposed plan of action is entirely unrealistic, and I would say even damaging to boys and young men seeking healthy dating strategies that work.

Yes, it's a quagmire navigating all the conflicting advice, which is why I say that more experienced men showing others the way is so important.

Halafax , 11 months ago

Note: "males" sounds weird here, but I'm not sure there is a better way to indicate that both boys and men are affected without getting super wordy. Comments and suggestions welcomed.

I think it's important to point out that a lot of the negative outcomes that disproportionately affect males are the predictable results of trying to meet expectations put on males. How many men take dangerous or debilitating jobs to increase their income? Earning and accumulating wealth is one of the most straight forward ways for males to increase their status. Males that don't initiate and succeed are largely ignored, which means most males have experienced lots of rejection and failure by adulthood. Males that can't measure up, or >feel< like they aren't measuring up, burn out and frequently turn to self soothing but harmful solutions like drugs and alcohol which can compound into suicide or homelessness.

At this point feminists will chalk it up to "toxic masculinity" and call it a day. Because that intentionally puts the entirety of the issue on males and is a conversational dead end. This makes the issues worse because males quickly realize that there will be no help, just mind games and tactics of delay. It shows males that pay attention how cynical and manipulative feminism actually is. Feminist are just as likely to judge and reward or penalize males based on cultural expectations as everyone else, maybe worse than non-feminists. Which is jarring because feminists are immediately offended when society has expectations about females.

Emperor , 11 months ago

Presumably, PixelFed or PeerTube but see my list here and some of the things I link to. You might need to do some digging to find the right fit for you.