I haven’t been in a dedicated men only group chat but I can imagine that if you get the right guys in a group it might just be „that easy“. I think it’s a great space to try and model how you want to interact with your peers.
And I’m glad to hear that the author has that support group in his life :)
I personally also find it a bit easier to share heavy topics over texting rather than talking.
Now, of course, white people are 100% fully capable of calling out racial bias. Anita is wholly in the right here and the commission is in the wrong. It’s just brutally stupid showing us she’s white and then claiming she’s black.
Good moment to point out that "white" is an ever-changing target that constantly moves as needed by the white people in power. Remember "one drop" was their rule. There's no such thing as "white".
Fun fact that demonstrates the point: depending on your locale you may already be seeing this happen, but Latinos are about twenty years away from being considered defacto "white people". And it's not accidental. It's a coordinated effort to get hold of a rising voting bloc that's historically very conservative.
If you live in California you might already recognize the difference between Norteno and Sureno (speaking colloquially, not referring to the gangs using those words as their names). If you've been paying attention to folks like Enrique Tarrio, Raphael Ted Cruz, and George "This is My Name This Month" Santos, you'd see it happening elsewhere too.
Latinos who don't embrace their Latino culture while they're here in America are being indoctrinated the same way they did the Irish and Italians before them. Remember neither of those groups were "white" when they first arrived in America either. The inner circle already accepted them as White People, they're just working on their adherents now. Ask yourself why so many second generation Mexican-American immigrants are hesitant to call themselves Mexican. Nope, they'll use Latino though. They've internalized that word as what the white people mean by it, it's a dirty word in that context.
And this is the effect of culturally ingrained racism. We saw it with Irish, Italians, we see it with Black Americans, and we see it with Mexican Americans too. The patterns are right there and obvious.
A long time ago I had a friend with about the same coloring as Earls. She was "black" by genetics: born of darker skinned parents (one quite dark, one lighter), and all her siblings were quite a bit darker then her. Among the white group of friends I was part of, she totally passed as white and generally didn't mention it, but as I got to know her better she showed me her family pictures.
This just showcases the complexity of what it means to be black, or white. But I think in this case, Earls is correctly speaking as a black woman.
I'm gonna point out that it is only complex to not be white. It is not complex to be white. That's a simple determination white society makes, that's all the complexity there is. That determination.
Irish people weren't white, then they were.
Italian people weren't white, then they were.
Latino people weren't white, then they were. They're getting there. See my other comment.
Jews still aren't "white". They're "Jews". Secular Jews get to be white though. "The good ones", they'll say. Hrm.
There's no group mastering over white people making them play by some ever-changing set of made up rules. That's what it is to be not white in America. Literacy tests, citizenship tests, background tests, sundown towns, don't look a white woman in the eye, mind your manners, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc. Those are all things done to minorities that have never been done to white people.
"White" is not a complex thing. Full disclosure, I'm a white guy. First generation Italian American, my dad came off a boat at Ellis Island and his family had to cross America all the way to California to find people who treated them as equals. Italians, they're as complex as Germans and the Dutch. But white? White isn't complex.
I chose the term "complex" in order to gently correct the person I was responding to without stirring the pot any more than necessary. As I reflect on your words correcting me, I still think the term is proper for white people, for the concept of whiteness. If anything, maybe more so. Being Black, or Chinese, or Jewish....all of these are a clear identity which doesn't change over time. Being white, that's not much of a clear identity at all. As your examples demonstrate, whether or not one is white in America varies over time as our racial values change. White people (as defined in our society) certainly take more than their share of all the good stuff our world offers, but that doesn't mean being white isn't complex. The very fact that your "race" can be white one generation but not in another, that's complex rather than simple.
And yes, people have been and are being horribly abused for not fitting the current definition of white. I would say it's more difficult to be considered not white (whatever your actual skin color), but not more complex.
Not at all the same as this, but it does remind me that someone on a forum I post on reacted to be told about Tulsi Gabbard's views with the exact phrase "but I thought she was a beautiful attractive progressive". Apparently entirely seriously.
This is a typical internet story where a moderate space about reducing porn consumption and then it gets taken over by extremists. NoFap is typical sex negative talk packages for men and young boys for the internet age. It focus on something simple like reducing porn use until it becomes a full sex negative no masturbation's and no sex philosophy.
The shame around masturbation is immense even if you don't get it from church. This is an attack male sexuality and reduces it into a simple phallic centric ejaculation focused instead of a whole body pleasure focused. This also ties really well into a female centric sex negative attack on porn in general which doubles up on the shame on men. The two together help support and create this false "cheating" definition and jealousy of toxic monogamist relationships. The idea that since we are monogamist neither of us has any other attraction is an insane and is impossible for both men and women. This ties into the PIV procreation focused sex that is the only "correct" sex which leads the both people unsatisfied with women's pleasure completely ignored and men's pleasure reduced to a single second and the "thrill of conquest". These dovetail create to shame men for taking care of their own needs with porn and masturbation to focus on guilting and coercing their spouse into giving them low pleasure sex.
Moreover, this is super kink negative with the idea that kinky sex and porn being an escalation and not an innate part of humans sexualities. While men may not be kinkier than women they for sure get their kinks earlier. These kinks are almost explored in a visual medium since most require one or more willing partner and technical skills. These kinks should be explored this way as it starts until all partners find out what they want, learn the technical and emotional skill without causing lasting emotional or physical damage to both partners.
While there are some problems in mainstream porn since its used a replacement for real sex education and is built for some misogynistic viewers. However, there is more ethically created porn out there. Ironically NoFap usually attack the most ethical created porn in OnlyFans which gives the power directly to the female creator instead of the generally male lead mainstream porn industry. Porn is always going to exist and if people actually cared about human trafficking and ethical treatment of women they would support those who create it well.
Please, stop purposely misunderstanding us and keep perpetrating us this pro-porn propaganda. The NoFap community is a MASTURBATION ADDICTION RECOVERY COMMUNITY, not a place where we tell people that masturbating is inherently bad!
Humans have been masturbating since they’re on this planet basically, but it has never been a problem until porn on the internet. With all the things you see on mainstream social media of course 13year olds are going to be masturbation addicted, everywhere they go on the internet is either full of borderline soft porn or people claiming that masturbating 10 times a day over some random mysogynistic adult content is fine. Masturbation is healthy, but with limitations and without overstimulating yourself with all this content. You don’t even need to access porn sites to find sexually arousing content and most of the times it’s one of the kind of contents which companies and mainstream social media profits on because it makes us slaves to the screens
I don’t understand why would you even purposely misunderstand the statement that destroying your life with porn and insane masturbation rythms is bad for your psychophysical health. The “90 days” are not a ritual, but the days most of the nofap users needed to actually get rid of the addiction and all its related effects and actually start a recovery journey. Also, we consider having actual sex a GOOD thing. NoFap is not about sexual abstinence, it’s about ADDICTION RECOVERY
NoFap saved my life, I would probably still me as miserable as I was in my early teens if I’ve never discovered that community. You don’t understand it because you either haven’t tried it or just never been addicted.
You don’t know the brain fog, the inability to even speak properly o to even make noarmal logical connections. You don’t know the pain of always feeling the urge and feeling sleepy 24/7 and the heart fatigue related to it. NoFap increased my self esteem, my willpower and even fixed my sleeping schedule. Same for other people I know who have found themselves in the same situation
Always remember that a lot of these articles but be financed by porn companies, that’s the only explanation. You don’t need to be a genius to understand it
EDIT: Y’all are making a big deal over the term “addiction” and not over the issues that it brings
Yet just removing that fixed everything. If I do it again, the symptoms come back. It’s porn, period. Just at least try to listen to our stories and not only to these nonsense articles
Science doesn’t say much because all the studies that have been made were like “we take 3 healthy individuals, we make the fap once and then see what happens next”. It’s that we do not have enough studies in this regard, maybe if science would try to make different cases involved in their studies we would know more
Well whatever you may have personally gained from it, that doesn’t change the fact that it has an awful lot of members who are both far-right and pushing embarrassingly bad pesudo-science.
I got a lot of downvotes on Reddit for pointing out that there’s no scientific evidence supporting porn addiction. It’s just the latest version of religious indoctrination. ISIS was using that as part of their recruitment process: men who are sexually repressed are easier for them to manipulate.
As with most things, there are a lot of problems with the porn INDUSTRY that we as a society ignore, and instead tell individual people that all the ills are their own fault.
I guess it makes sense that the psychology community would push back against the claim that pornography fits a scientific definition of addiction. The same deal goes for sugar: many people talk about sugar being addictive, but it’s pretty absurd to classify sugar as addictive substance, and the article raises this point very explicitly:
That isn’t to say that people can’t use pornography compulsively, as you may compulsively eat donuts or bacon every day against the best interests of your heart
And that’s what most people usually mean when they’re addicted to it. So I wouldn’t say that it’s indoctrination or “hive mind”, it’s just how people use the word “addiction” in day-to-day, non-scientifically-precise ways. You’re absolutely right to point that out because people should not seek addiction treatment for porn consumption, but it’s also understandable to seek treatment for compulsive consumption of whatever. Just like sugar and junk food, while the science doesn’t say it’s addiction, it also presents endless evidence on the negative effects of common patterns of consumption.
Idk just because it's "natural" to compulsively consume such both sugar and porn to classify them as non-addiction is a bit wishy washy and kinda stinks to me.
Humans literally have evolved to consume as much sugar as possible and same goes for porn because the human sexual response can't differentiate between real or fake sexual stimulus. Humans see naked bodies, humans get aroused. No matter wether digital imagery or not.
because it’s “natural” to compulsively consume such both sugar and porn to classify them as non-addiction is a bit wishy
Well, that's not the argument I'd make, nor does it seem to be the one presented by the sources for the article. I agree that this would be very wishy washy!
I agree, I thank to all real exhibitionist sharing their normal intime moments with us. Professional porn, even more one pretending to be “amateur” is just awful.
There is. And I've found a lot of couples that are great. But it's hard to find that amid the millions of "found stepsister asleep" quasi-rape fantasies. And of the ones that do seem loving, it often seems to trend towards the common tropes when they try to make a living at it. So I mostly avoid filmed porn.
I haven’t been in a dedicated men only group chat but I can imagine that if you get the right guys in a group it might just be „that easy“. I think it’s a great space to try and model how you want to interact with your peers.
And I’m glad to hear that the author has that support group in his life :)
I personally also find it a bit easier to share heavy topics over texting rather than talking.
If you want to throw the word pseudoscience around, can you post any scientific evidence that beatin the meat causes porn addiction? I’ve been doing it my whole life and hasn’t caused me any issues, just ask ur mom after I banged her last night.
Yeah beating the meat doesn’t cause any addiction. Just like drinking alcohol doesn’t cause addiction? Or injecting drugs into your body? Do you even know the definition of addiction.
If you are a man, just masturbate 3 times a day, and then don’t masturbate at all for a while. You will see the difference. You don’t need some expert validation for simple shit like that
Bro do you really think masturbating is the same as alcohol or drugs addiction lol. If you genuinely believe that, then idk what to tell you, you’re just wrong. Please try to look for a single scientific paper that supports this absolutely wild view. I will pay you in a million uplemmys.
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