lemmy.ml

Delphia , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!

It mostly reads as “extreme” but fair enough for a very well paid PA with a company credit card until you get to the compensation. Then its idiotic.

This is a job description for 2 people making $100,000 each. Or one insane person who wants to make $200k.

SpaceNoodle ,

These are things any able person does for themselves.

Delphia ,

Ok lets just set aside that this particular job listing is bullshit.

Hypothetically if your rich and travel alot for work its not unreasonable that you might not have time to find a gym and a trainer yourself. Organising the meals isnt unreasonable, if by that you mean finding a chef, making sure the hotels menu is sufficient and so on.

The bed time one sounds like B.S but if you’re the kind of person who gets caught up on projects and then realises its 3am, its not ridiculous either.

Like I said, Im pretty sure this listing is for an absolutely insane person. But at least it sets clear expectations.

SpaceNoodle ,

Most of these can be solved by either setting an alarm or reading.

Nobody this helpless is staying up until 3 AM doing anything useful.

Delphia ,

How many times do I have to qualify that I dont think this is someone who is legit?

Personal Assistants exist so that people who have the means (probably not this guy) dont have to do mundane shit like remember to set alarms and if they are willing to adequately compensate someone for that level of work (which this twit isnt) then go for it.

If I won the lottery, Id have a housekeeper and a lawn guy because although I now dont have anything better to do, I still dont want to do that shit.

If someone wants to offer me $200k a year to handle all his mundane shit and water his bonsai with EXACTLY 30ml of water every 2 days my response would be “Tap, filtered or demineralised?” not “why dont you do it your fucking self?”

adrian783 ,

housekeeper, lawn guy, bug guy, handyman. (basically a residence team for each of my properties as I might travel often). nutritional team, personal training team, and a traveling personal assistant.

doctors on retainer too.

what else am I missing?

SpaceNoodle ,

Butt wiper

Rooty , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!
  • Ensure that the CEO is burped after every meal.
  • Make a nappy check on CEO every half hour and change accordingly.
  • Provide the entertainment in the form of peek-a-boo and “got your nose” games.
  • Put CEO in bed ahead of schedule in the case of late evening temper tantrums.
Th4tGuyII , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

Starts off reasonable, drives off the cliff of down right crazy, all for the price of a "competitive salary"

testgoatpleaseignore ,

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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  • Th4tGuyII ,
    @Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

    Yeah, but if you're offering an actually competitive salary, more often than not you'd just state the salary because you know people would go for it...

    Especially because of the connotation of "competitive salary" has developed

    adrian783 ,

    honestly I feel like 250 to 300k is reasonable.

    CyberDine ,

    $140 an hour to be basically on call for a man child 24/7.

    FaeDrifter ,

    More like $28 per hour, because you’re working 168 hour weeks not 40.

    Honytawk ,

    It is a competitive salary paid in crypto

    Pyr_Pressure , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!

    How is a person who can’t manage their own meals and bedtime able to manage a company?

    frippa OP ,
    @frippa@lemmy.ml avatar

    As per the post it’s a shit coin company; the “CEO” is gonna work at McDonald’s in a couple of years months.

    SlikPikker ,

    It’s almost like the management class are mainly unproductive parasites who can’t wipe their own asses.

    MissJinx ,
    @MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

    Tbf it looks very suspicious, Malaysia, No family, no place of residency, coin something…

    This type of jobs do exist but no company would look for this kind of job with so much responsability and access to sensitive information on likedin. Those type of jobs are either internal promotion or head hunted with classified information until later in the interview process

    FiskFisk33 , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!

    “CoinClan”
    Yeah, some time in the not so distant future, that paycheck is gonna bounce.

    frippa OP ,
    @frippa@lemmy.ml avatar

    But heeeyyyy! You can get paid in their shitcoin that will totally be worth more than an infinitesimal fraction of a cent, just two more weeks!

    Thrashy ,
    @Thrashy@lemmy.world avatar

    I’d only consider the position if I could figure out a way to manipulate the CEO into executing a rugpull that I engineered to my benefit…

    StereoTrespasser , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!

    So this guy basically needs a full-time mother.

    RootBeerGuy , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!
    @RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    So they basically are getting the CEO job without getting compensated properly since they are “just” PA level. Fantastic.

    Hawk ,

    Pretty much every PA

    phorq , to LinkedinLunatics in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!

    This is listed as “remote”? How would this even remotely be accomplished if not in person? That CEO is gonna be under CPS soon.

    mosiacmango ,

    Remote is the “hottest” section of job sites, so stupid companies will list every job under “remote” on the off chance that someone looking for remote work will accept non remote work.

    The shittier ones will even tell you its remote up until the interviews, when it will suddenly be “hybrid” remote, i.e not remote.

    SpaceNoodle , (edited )

    Hybrid 99.9̅% in-office

    billwashere , to LinkedinLunatics in NSFL

    Fuck this noise. I will use whatever I’m allowed to my advantage. Work trips are like mini vacations I don’t have to pay for.

    SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

    I expense my cocaine and hookers.

    billwashere ,

    I work for the state so I haven’t figured this part out yet. I’m open to suggestions 😀

    SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

    What state?

    Some are more open to it then others.

    Potatos_are_not_friends ,

    I got a $45 food stipend for lunch once. My lunch cost $30 (it was lunch AND dinner) and then tipped the restaurant $15.

    I’m using 100% of it.

    Aquila , to LinkedinLunatics in NSFL

    How to say you have crippling social anxiety without saying you have crippling social anxiety

    magnetosphere , (edited )
    @magnetosphere@kbin.social avatar

    Then they should order delivery or something. Food poisoning is not the answer.

    Yeah, dealing with the delivery guy might be unpleasant, but paramedics and the hospital staff will be MUCH worse.

    EnderofGames ,

    Food poisoning would be the crippling part.

    DrPop , to LinkedinLunatics in NSFL

    When the company gets billed for replacing the coffee maker every time you stay at a hotel they will do something other than promote.

    PR3CiSiON ,

    Super double promote?

    Klear ,

    Exactly.

    odium , to LinkedinLunatics in NSFL

    Meanwhile I eat $30 meals when I’m traveling for work.

    forgotmyusername ,

    I don’t get to travel for work but schedule my biweekly telehealth therapy appointments for midday.

    Boss makes a dollar; I make a dime. I talk to my shrink on company time.

    PR3CiSiON ,

    Where do you find $30 meals? Mine are all $60+

    odium ,

    I gotta submit my expensing for review, so I gotta keep it somewhat realistic or they’ll deny.

    e_t_ Admin , to LinkedinLunatics in NSFL

    I saw a YouTube video of a guy cooking a steak by wrapping it in aluminum foil and putting the hotel iron on top. But an iron gets a lot hotter than that warming plate, plus beef is less bad to eat undercooked.

    ryathal ,

    This would probably work fine, it might be a bit slow, but a coffee pot gets plenty hot to cook chicken. My main concern would be the lack of fluid increases the chances that pot breaks.

    ilovededyoupiggy ,
    @ilovededyoupiggy@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Sous vide then?

    ryathal ,

    More like poached or simmered.

    Kowowow ,

    through in a bit of cream cheese and you could have something not bad

    schnokobaer ,

    The hot plate 100% has a safety switch that turns it off at a couple degrees above boiling. So it won’t break but it also won’t sufficiently cook the chicken with pieces this large…

    magnetosphere ,
    @magnetosphere@kbin.social avatar

    That’s what freaked me out the most - how thick the cut is.

    This isn’t beef. You can’t cook chicken medium rare and expect things to be okay.

    Sinnerman ,

    "Chunky" chicken soup in a can just costs a couple dollars, you could try heating that in a coffee pot. Add some fresh cherry tomatoes and canned fruit and you have a good meal.

    PR3CiSiON ,

    I’ve made grilled cheese like this before. Works decently.

    i_am_not_a_robot , to LinkedinLunatics in NSFL
    @i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk avatar

    Enjoy your salmonella.

    Default_Defect ,
    @Default_Defect@midwest.social avatar

    That’s chicken, not salmon.

    /s

    PR3CiSiON ,

    The chicken of the river, and sea

    DeepFriedDresden , to LinkedinLunatics in NSFL

    If charging dinner to the company is going to tank your P&L, you've got much bigger things to worry about. And no, they ain't going to promote you because you saved them $30.

    EatYouWell ,

    They’re not going to promote you specifically because you thought cooking chicken in a coffee maker was a good idea.

    Although, I guess you could kinda sorta do sous vide in one of you had the chicken in a sealed bag.

    TBi ,

    Generally I find the people who go all out (not overboard) on expenses get promoted before people who don’t. Shows a level of confidence that most management likes.

    MindSkipperBro12 ,

    Another thing to consider: Are the ones that you’ve noticed get promoted tend to LOVE to say “yes” to management?

    GetKebab ,

    I read this in the voice of Dennis Reynolds.

    CurlyMoustache ,
    @CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world avatar

    Heavy emphasis on sorta

    hansl ,

    Just hope you don’t destroy the coffee machine and pay back the hotel for repairs, that’s gonna cost you more than dinner.

    MissJinx ,
    @MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

    oh it will! Will be promoted to dead employee

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