I've had the same experience with female friends I had emotionnaly supported for years disappearing the second I manifested emotionnal needs, in some cases at their request.
One of them even did the same with her own brother before me when he transitionned. Dealing with the emotions of her depressive sister was ok but soon after the sister became a brother she told me she had enough of his whining. This was especially jarring coming from a person who had spent countless nights crying on my or my husband's shoulder over some pointless drama.
I came to identify one red flag and one green flag for potential female friends (can be applied to men with some adjustments): Has "girl's nights" where only women are welcome= doesn't see men as fully human, red flag. Is "not like the other girls" = tries to distance herself from that mindset, green flag.
I know I know, "not like the other girls" has been oficially branded as mysoginy by the internet. Green flag.
This is purely anecdotal and comes from some self-reflection, but my partner and i have very different ways of expressing vulnerability.
If I turn to her and say "fuck, what a day! My computer's a piece of shit, everyone i work with is just out to make life hard for me and I didn't get to my workout because i got stuck on a phone call with clients", I may feel like i'm displaying some vulnerability but she thinks i'm just being a whiny bitch.
I don't anyone finds that style of weakness attractive, but I'm finding it very hard to break out from providing a list of complaints and instead processing how they make me feel.
I don't anyone finds that style of weakness attractive, but I'm finding it very hard to break out from providing a list of complaints and instead processing how they make me feel.
...isn't that how everyone starts out trying to share frustrations? This sounds like the exact "if men do it then it's bad" problem we're talking about
Sure, but i think there's something fundamentally childish about that style of complaint. My kid leads with "x did y to me", and if i'm being honest I often do, but I think I'd get more receptiveness if i led with "I'm frustrated because i got stuck on a phone call with my boss that could have been avoided if I'd planned better".
Not sure i've really thought this through, but my sense is that'll be received a lot better.
Your highlighting the sexism, while calling it a good thing
The point of venting is not to hedge and hem and haw about making sure you are taking personal responsibility for your own problems
And it’s something women are never expected to do when being vulnerable, but men are
That’s exactly the sexist problem
When women are vulnerable with each other, they offer support so that the venter understands at a root physiological level that they aren’t alone and that even if they can solve the problem themselves, they don’t necessarily have to.
You are suggesting men keep doing the exact opposite from fucking get go.
Men (especially according to you) have to preface their expressions of vulnerability with “this is my problem, not yours, this does not burden you in any way, I promise” and then they might get a sympathetic ear.
You’re proudly exemplifying the exact sexist problem.
So of course it will be received better, you’ve removed all the effort of being someone’s support before you started, what is there for her to complain about in your vulnerability, you were never vulnerable in the first place!
I don't think I'm articulating myself well, but that's not entirely what I'm trying to say. But I do think there's a difference between how women are vulnerable with each other and how most men are vulnerable. Can't quite put my finger on it, but the former version seems more nuanced and I think if men could be like that then it might be better
Extreme analogies are often used in order to wake people up to the conversation they're having (or just for fun)
She put attacker into the literal sense which people could hopefully compare to regular situations of 'person who deals harm vs person who receives harm'
“Your griefs, your pains, fix you to moments in the past long gone. You’re like butterflies with your wings pinned.”
I think this is the theme of PIC season 2, and not just for Picard. Processing and accepting the impact of past choices and actions in the here and now. Seven expressing the impact of her post-VOY treatment by others. Raffi admitting to herself that she holds too tightly to those who are important to her in the now because of her fear of loss based on past experiences. Her loss of: Starfleet; her credibility because of her theory about the sythn attack on Mars; and, herself and her family due to her addictions afterwards. Rios’ moment of growth when he moves on from always feeling adrift since the events on the Ibn Majid. Agnes and the Borg Queen bonding over shared feelings of loneliness. A strange combo, but one I think Alison Pill and Annie Wersching’s strong performances completely sold.
I think PIC season 2’s overarching story is muddled because the separate parts seem related more by happenstance rather than being a solid, cohesive narrative. However, I think season 2’s theme is always strong, and it resonates with me.
One of the things I love about Star Trek is when it makes me think about how I think. PIC season 2 has me doing a lot of self-reflection. I enjoy, and re-watch, PIC season 2.
In my experience it’s not just emotional vulnerability, but any kind of weakness which is a huge turn off for women. Last time this happened to me was when I had Covid and depended on my girlfriend to pick stuff up from the store for me. She dumped me right after I’d recovered.
@wave_walnut Thanks, the recap was important to understand what happened so far. As it seems, the writing was on the wall. Now I understand why so many was against Red Hat, similar to how they were against Canonical (but for other reasons).
I don’t get the Canonical hate. They are innovative and have contributed a lot to the Linux community. Also, Linux is their focus. Without companies like them, development would be a lot slower.
@exohuman It's not hating everything, but criticizing certain aspects they did in the past or they do now. I don't know how long you are using Linux, but I did start with Ubuntu in 2008 and used it exclusively for 13 years (approx.). Just because a company was good in the beginning does not mean it is now too.
Examples why is listed in the above linked video. In the past, Canonical was criticized for not working on Wayland and instead creating their own alternative that is MIR. Due to the popularity of Ubuntu, that would make things in the Linux world complicated as MIR and Wayland need to be developed and supported. Instead using GNOME or any other existing desktop environment, they started their own. While I found that perfectly okay, in the beginning it looked like focus on tablets and was not good in the beginning (I actually liked Unity desktop environment later).
Now they are pushing Snaps, which will create another eco system that besides Flatpak. And it is mostly just for Ubuntu. Snaps were bad in the beginning, so it got a bad image from the start. That's not all. The servers for Snaps is proprietary. And you can't just add another source to Snaps, like you can do with Flatpaks. Meaning if you have your own server with Snaps delivery, you need to opt out of Snapcraft .io servers from Canonical. Do you want know more? One of the reasons I left Ubuntu was that Snaps are spamming the loop devices (most don't care). Then there is this clunky PPA system, which has some problems too (and why Canonical ties to switch to Snap instead).
What else do we have? Ah yes. Do you know about the Amazon incident? Ubuntu had spyware built-into their search functionality, where Amazon would get search queries without the consent of the users.
And not all, there was plans to drop support for 32 bit libraries, which would make gaming with Steam really bad. Obviously this is not something everyone cares, but that was an important reason for many not to use Ubuntu anymore. Because of the uncertainty.
I am not suggesting that everything is bad! Just listing a few things why the community started to dislike Ubuntu. Also nowadays nothing innovative comes from Ubuntu; it's stale, it's boring. Which is fine if you like that, but that is not innovative or leading anymore. The landscape of alternatives changed. I personally don't hate Canonical or Ubuntu. I stopped using it for several other reasons too, not just because of the listed problems. Some exaggerate and start hating in the internet.
And not all, there was plans to drop support for 32 bit libraries, which would make gaming with Steam really bad. Obviously this is not something everyone cares, but that was an important reason for many not to use Ubuntu anymore. Because of the uncertainty.
This contributed to Valve switching SteamOS to Arch.
@falsem I remember. But at that time, Steam OS 2 was already based on Debian and not Ubuntu anymore. Steam OS 1 was based on Ubuntu if I remember correctly. Therefore what Ubuntu does wouldn't affect Valve anyway. So I don't know how much this played a role in switching to Arch. So the timing might be just coincidence.
RedHat is only going to provide source code to their paying customers. This is legally compliant with the GPL. This has made a lot of people mad because there are a lot of distros that are essentially copy/pasted Redhat code that people use.
Right? Like it or not, we live in a society dominated by money. A very small number of Linux distributions have found a way to sustainably produce an excellent product. That's a good thing. The alternatives are either burnout or insecurity.
The Siege of AR-558 is one of my favourite DS9 episodes during the Dominion War because it really shows you the gritty horrible nature of war, up until that point it never really hits you but then you see these guys on the front lines for months at a time turning into as quark says blood thirsty klingons.
My only gripe with the episode is it would have been a fantastic two-parter.
I really wish there were more viable alternatives to Youtube, but since so many peoples' livelihoods rely on having the largest audience possible, they're pretty much forced to use YouTube.
Wow. This kind of mickey mouse attempt to prove affirmative action is "reverse racism" was invented by literal teenagers in conservative/Republican student groups across university campuses in the 1990's. Not only is it a total misunderstanding of how affirmative action works, it's full blown trite at this point.
Upsetting that this passes for TV journalism and I'm upset for those people interviewed who had to undergo experiencing this microaggression for the sake of this inept clown to try to make a point.
Oh THANK GOD you arrived at just this point of my life to shine light on the fact I'm stupid as shit. WHEW!! Now I can no longer be burdened with any decision making for the rest of my life. What would I have done without your scathing insight and rapier wit??? I shudder to imagine all the pitfalls I would have befallen without the kind and gracious light you've now shone on my life.
Hey everyone! Let's make @Unhappily_Coerced dictator for life! He's solved racism! Surely he has all the answers to the rest of society's ills!
If by “perfectly illustrates” you mean “bait-and-switched two situations that are not remotely similar for cheap propaganda to appeal to right-wing dipshits who don’t understand the difference between attempting to mitigate generational systemic economic oppression and buying an impulse item,” then yes… It did do that.
Wouldn’t it be fun to shut everyone up with proof? If you could just drop a links that proved your nonsense about this kooks ‘receipts’ everyone would be so impressed and enlightened. But- if you could you would.
I read the news articles, from various sources. I trust you can not only find the same articles, but do your own due diligence. It's quite sad that this simple task is seemingly so difficult for you lot.
Yes and I trust in your ability to use online search engines too instead of ignoring what has been brought to your attention. If you refuse to see what is obvious to others, it does not make it untrue.
I hope God has blessed you in some other important way. Best wishes.
I’m vision impaired so search results are difficult for me to comb through quickly. If you’re not just a lying liar I would appreciate it if you provided what you found that you think verified this kook’s rant.
youtu.be
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