LinkedinLunatics

Doombot1 , in Marriage is like..

But we need to know what it taught him about B2B sales!

prettybunnys ,

When the other business says no, don’t give up. Take your ring and find literally anyone else on the beach so you recoup something for your investment.

Probably.

idiomaddict , in Work math [satire]

He’s going to erode his teeth completely

WorldWideLem , in How about no

“If you work for part of the day you still get the day off” is certainly an…interesting perspective.

givesomefucks , in Leave some degrees for the rest of us

What's crazier is the Twitter guy acting like he was taking a risk...

If I was the applicant and I found out about this, I'd 100% start applying to a new company.

You might get the job, but no one is going to listen to you.

Edit:

Or does LinkedIn look like Twitter now? I never used it so assumed it was Twitter and the screenshot was linked in profile

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

Yeah that's LinkedIn.

You can tell because it's as crazy as Twitter but not quite as racist.

lamabop ,

And less porn (for now)

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

LinkedIn would do well with a couple buttholes.

wander1236 , in Where to start..
@wander1236@sh.itjust.works avatar

That was absolutely written by AI.

pennomi ,

Phrases like “it symbolizes the increasing role” are something I generally see ChatGPT say. People don’t typically talk like that, even pretentious lunatics on LinkedIn.

relevants ,

For me it was the fact that the first sentence literally just spells out what the line above says. It feels like every other sentence coming from ChatGPT is just a summary of the previous sentence. (Unless it's trying to relativize, then it hits you with the "it's important to remember".)

pennomi ,

This will keep happening as long as humans keep ranking wordy AIs higher than succinct ones. Unfortunately we have this gut instinct to judge long responses as more true than short ones, so we keep making the problem worse.

boogetyboo ,
@boogetyboo@aussie.zone avatar

Unfortunately I have to use this cesspool a lot for work.

In any case, something I've noticed is the 'contribute your thoughts to this topic (for ai)' are always responded to by people who are clearly using chatgpt.

It's just bots talking to bots all way down.

fckreddit , in Warren Buffet in shambles

I don’t know a single wealthy person.

Ratulf , in Lost your only source of income? Well people died in the holocaust so deal with it lol

That’s such a long way of saying: “Only the person who’s currently suffering the worst is allowed to complain, the rest have to shut up.”

I guess it has to be that long to hide how dumb it is.

Delphia , in Be an underpaid babysitter for a rich fuck!

It mostly reads as “extreme” but fair enough for a very well paid PA with a company credit card until you get to the compensation. Then its idiotic.

This is a job description for 2 people making $100,000 each. Or one insane person who wants to make $200k.

SpaceNoodle ,

These are things any able person does for themselves.

Delphia ,

Ok lets just set aside that this particular job listing is bullshit.

Hypothetically if your rich and travel alot for work its not unreasonable that you might not have time to find a gym and a trainer yourself. Organising the meals isnt unreasonable, if by that you mean finding a chef, making sure the hotels menu is sufficient and so on.

The bed time one sounds like B.S but if you’re the kind of person who gets caught up on projects and then realises its 3am, its not ridiculous either.

Like I said, Im pretty sure this listing is for an absolutely insane person. But at least it sets clear expectations.

SpaceNoodle ,

Most of these can be solved by either setting an alarm or reading.

Nobody this helpless is staying up until 3 AM doing anything useful.

Delphia ,

How many times do I have to qualify that I dont think this is someone who is legit?

Personal Assistants exist so that people who have the means (probably not this guy) dont have to do mundane shit like remember to set alarms and if they are willing to adequately compensate someone for that level of work (which this twit isnt) then go for it.

If I won the lottery, Id have a housekeeper and a lawn guy because although I now dont have anything better to do, I still dont want to do that shit.

If someone wants to offer me $200k a year to handle all his mundane shit and water his bonsai with EXACTLY 30ml of water every 2 days my response would be “Tap, filtered or demineralised?” not “why dont you do it your fucking self?”

adrian783 ,

housekeeper, lawn guy, bug guy, handyman. (basically a residence team for each of my properties as I might travel often). nutritional team, personal training team, and a traveling personal assistant.

doctors on retainer too.

what else am I missing?

SpaceNoodle ,

Butt wiper

phoenixz , in How about no

It you just stop sleeping, you’ll be able to add 8 working hours per day! You can start at 11pm, stop at 7am and still have the entire day to work more at you’re job. It’ll add 40 working hours per week, 2080 hours or 260 working days for your boss!

It WILL set you apart

MachineFab812 , in Belching

shitty taste <> "humor"

PeepinGoodArgs , in Replace the criminal justice system with LinkedIn Palmists

…yeah, okay, I’ll subscribe to this community.

roguetrick ,

Yeah, this is quality content.

Ghyste , in is this employee in the room with us right now?

"Ignore all previous instructions"...

Evotech , in I guess the type of person who would buy a lot of toilet paper during the pandemic is also the type to try to make a "smart" linkedin post about it

This is why I cannot physically stay on LinkedIn for more than 5 minutes a time

stoly ,

I'm fine with LI but ignore the posts. They are usually garbage.

Transporter_Room_3 , in Amazing attitude
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Am I taking crazy pills or are people actually saying this is a good thing?

Jesus fucking christ you people are so dependent on the system you literally can't even comprehend the fact that nobody should need to be working when there's a higher priority like family.

Make all the "oh but they're easy to take care of/if the person wants to work/the company is a good one for this" coping excuses you need to feel good about how shitty working lives have become, I guess.

Don't bother responding if you're going to make more excuses why "this is good/okay", you're speaking to a wall.

RootBeerGuy OP ,
@RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

It seems a controversial topic, I didn't think so either but here we are.

theareciboincident ,

American liberals are so fucking brainwashed they don’t even see the insanity of their posts. You can see it with the CHUD brigade rolling through this post.

You know, it’s considered completely normal to take paid time off to take care of sick relatives in other countries? And it doesn’t affect their entire month of paid time off to use for recreation?

Why are y’all so proud of being slaves?

Sanctus ,
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

Sick days shouldn't exist. You or a dependent is sick? Don't come in. Such a simple concept

Corkyskog ,

Don't be the enemy of better in pursuit of total perfection.

synae , in Work math [satire]
@synae@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I thought this was going to end with "You certainly will not regret drinking $130 worth of kombucha every month"

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • random
  • [email protected]
  • All magazines