That can never be the appropriate answer. I'm sorry if you sometimes feel like that. It can really feel like a situation with no way to win. Perhaps it's not about winning. In this case, something is being communicated. I bet that there are different things being communicated by different people, but using the same words. Someone might be trying to say "things in my past has made it difficult for me to trust men." Someone else might want to be edgy because they enjoy "kicking upward". We don't know. On the internet, the loud edgy people rule. In real life, most women I've actually talked to are much more understanding and willing to see the nuances and how complicated things can be. If the internet people are getting to you, a good exercise can be to talk to real people more. They don't want you dead. They probably want good interactions. Maybe every good interaction makes their fear diminish just a little.
Please don't do that. All humans are products of a bygone area. We have imperfect minds and bodies that evolved to solve problems that aren't really relevant anymore. But hopefully you can find some kind of peace inside that existence. You don't have to be defined by other people's prejudice toward you.
Have you tried therapy? I had to try multiple therapists before finding someone that worked for me, but I'm so happy I went through the process.
It doesn't really matter if you scare someone you don't know. They don't know you either. Ultimately it's reasonable to be uncomfortable around strangers.
If you still scare people even after interacting with them, don't take it personally. Lots of people have biases and past traumatic experiences that might paint you any which way.
Just focus on being kind and liked by the communities you're in, and don't take a defeatist mentality over someone being scared of you at first.
Crypto isn't a gamble when you study them and realize that the only fucking one out there that maintains respect for you is Monero.
Bitcoin is the snitchcoin. Great to force all businesses to handle it and reveal their entire financial existence and movement to tax them knowing everything.
Everything else is just exactly this fucking shenanigan.
There's facts explaining this. Ask your questions because if you have anything contrary to say then I have no problem schooling you. Your welcome.
There was a kid staying with a relative (I think) in a building across from me and I joked that I’d start blasting hardcore porn on my projector with my blinds up to teach him about the birds and the bees.
- the average feminist, advocating female supremacy and male genocide.
“The future must be in female hands, women alone must control the reproduction of species; and only 10% of the population should be allowed to be male “
- Sally Miller Gearhart, feminist icon of the 20th century, advocating female supremacy and the violent eradication of most males.
As in all extremist organizations, moderates have zero power. They are there purely as window dressing and cannon fodder and to give the movement a wafer-thin veneer of legitimacy and respectability. It is the tail - the extremists - that wags the dog. And feminism has shown their hatred of men far more than any love of them.
So what you're saying is that you, a commenter using a username on an internet forum are the true feminist, and the feminists actually responsible for changing the laws, writing the academic theory, teaching the courses, influencing the public policies, and the massive, well-funded feminist organizations with thousands and thousands of members all of whom call themselves feminists... they are not "real feminists".
That's not just "no true Scotsman". That's delusional self deception.
Listen, if you want to call yourself a feminist, I don't care. I've been investigating feminism for more than 9 years now, and people like you used to piss me off, because to my mind all you were doing was providing cover and ballast for the powerful political and academic feminists you claim are just jerks. And believe me, they ARE jerks. If you knew half of what I know about the things they've done under the banner of feminism, maybe you'd stop calling yourself one.
But I want you to know. You don't matter. You're not the director of the Feminist Majority Foundation and editor of Ms. Magazine, Katherine Spillar, who said of domestic violence: "Well, that's just a clean-up word for wife-beating," and went on to add that regarding male victims of dating violence, "we know it's not girls beating up boys, it's boys beating up girls."
You're not Jan Reimer, former mayor of Edmonton and long-time head of Alberta's Network of Women's Shelters, who just a few years ago refused to appear on a TV program discussing male victims of domestic violence, because for her to even show up and discuss it would lend legitimacy to the idea that they exist.
You're not Mary P Koss, who describes male victims of female rapists in her academic papers as being not rape victims because they were "ambivalent about their sexual desires" (if you don't know what that means, it's that they actually wanted it), and then went on to define them out of the definition of rape in the CDC's research because it's inappropriate to consider what happened to them rape.
You're not the National Organization for Women, and its associated legal foundations, who lobbied to replace the gender neutral federal Family Violence Prevention and Services Act of 1984 with the obscenely gendered Violence Against Women Act of 1994. The passing of that law cut male victims out of support services and legal assistance in more than 60 passages, just because they were male.
You're not the Florida chapter of the NOW, who successfully lobbied to have Governor Rick Scott veto not one, but two alimony reform bills in the last ten years, bills that had passed both houses with overwhelming bipartisan support, and were supported by more than 70% of the electorate.
You're not the feminist group in Maryland who convinced every female member of the House on both sides of the aisle to walk off the floor when a shared parenting bill came up for a vote, meaning the quorum could not be met and the bill died then and there.
You're not the feminists in Canada agitating to remove sexual assault from the normal criminal courts, into quasi-criminal courts of equity where the burden of proof would be lowered, the defendant could be compelled to testify, discovery would go both ways, and defendants would not be entitled to a public defender.
You're not Professor Elizabeth Sheehy, who wrote a book advocating that women not only have the right to murder their husbands without fear of prosecution if they make a claim of abuse, but that they have the moral responsibility to murder their husbands.
You're not the feminist legal scholars and advocates who successfully changed rape laws such that a woman's history of making multiple false allegations of rape can be excluded from evidence at trial because it's "part of her sexual history."
You're not the feminists who splattered the media with the false claim that putting your penis in a passed-out woman's mouth is "not a crime" in Oklahoma, because the prosecutor was incompetent and charged the defendant under an inappropriate statute (forcible sodomy) and the higher court refused to expand the definition of that statute beyond its intended scope when there was already a perfectly good one (sexual battery) already there. You're not the idiot feminists lying to the public and potentially putting women in Oklahoma at risk by telling potential offenders there's a "legal" way to rape them.
And you're none of the hundreds or thousands of feminist scholars, writers, thinkers, researchers, teachers and philosophers who constructed and propagate the body of bunkum theories upon which all of these atrocities are based.
You're the true feminist. Some random person on the internet.
Hold on just a fucking minute. The misandrists are fringe, never forget that. The great mass of feminists - and women more generally - do not hate men. I say this as someone who's been calling out feminism, check my post history. I'm not a feminist, I have my issues with feminism, but don't fall into the trap of thinking they all believe that.
Well you're tagged as a tankie for some reason, so that means you've been gargling some dictator's cock. I'm only calling it like I see it. Which was it, Stalin? Putin?
I think k the issue with patriarchy is a class issue, not a sex issue…. We should be fighting the men at the top, not the men at the bottom…. By calling it the patriarchy we do ourselves wrong, because we lose a lot of butt hurt guys at the bottom of the ladder….
That's like saying we shouldn't deal with neo-nazis who aren't in power. They're choosing to side with evil and thus deserve equal punishment. "Oh no they might feel bad about it" good they should feel bad. They should genuinely feel bad.
In case you haven’t noticed literally nazis marched through Charlottesville without any push back while students protesting literal genocide are having their faces smashed into the pavement while being called anti semites
What a terrible comparison. One chooses to be a nazi, it comes with clear negative traits, you cannot be a good nazi. One doesn't choose to be male, you can be a good person even if you are, wtf.
The issue with patriarchy is ultimately culture's views on gender and making artificial distinctions on who you should be, how you should act, etc. based on it – that's what feminism is at its core, gender issues and how human psychology interacts with the social construct of gender (which is why it's so closely tied in with the LGBT movement).
It's hard for society to even acknowledge – let alone overcome – unfair differences in treatment based on gender, when our culture raises us to have subconscious biases on what a man or a woman should be, that men and women are two different groups with certain behavioural archetypes that they surely follow, that they must have certain behaviours based on their gender. almost everyone, despite thinking otherwise, has a deep division between their understanding of different genders and behaviours associated with gender – men can or can't do X thing, women can or can't do Y thing. A man who lacks trait A is weak and pathetic, a woman who has that same trait is normal, or the other way around. Women telling others not to talk over her in a meeting is bitchy, a man crying or being "feminine" (physically or otherwise) is weird (as is a woman being "masculine"); a woman who works in a trade is assumed to be unskilled and is constantly demeaned by both customers and coworkers (applies to most "male-centric" jobs), a man who works a job with children is seen as an alien and might be seen as creepy by a lot of people. Single parents experience sexism a lot in different ways, in fact the sexism can be one of the most mental health eroding things some parents face from society.
Whether you're a man or a woman (or don't fit either of those norms) and which gender norms you follow (or go against) is one of the most important factors in determining how others treat you. You will face a completely different treatment from the same people based on your gender alone, and people will react to the same behaviours in radically different ways based on your gender. It's why a lot of feminists are gender abolitionists – "gender" and "sex" are ultimately dumb cultural concepts, yet they are some of the most important aspects of a person in our society and basically control how you can live your life, so we should work to get rid of the manmade concept of gender altogether (that's the thinking, anyway).
Ultimately feminism is only one part of the "social justice" movement as a whole; where feminism mainly focuses on the gender issues (and possibly sexuality), other movements may focus more on society's perception of race/ethnicity, class, etc. and a lot of the times these are very intertwined (a lot of research in feminism is centered on how race affects peoples' perceptions on gender, such as doctors tending to have a strong bias against minorities based on both their race and gender, for example).
Class does play a part in it though, so feminism and leftist movements e.g. socialism often overlap. The philosophical understanding is that gender equality can't happen under capitalism, as right-wing systems require hierarchies based on identity (including immutable traits) in order to function, so discrimination based on sex and gender is inevitable.
Explicitly calling it "patriarchy" has caused some problems, with men thinking it paints them to be the problem rather than the whole culture/society/government (and of course the ruling class), but as always the general populace misconstrues academic/movement terminology and there's not much that can be done to help that, especially when the public has adopted a preconceived idea of what "feminism" and "patriarchy" means that they really refuse to budge on.
Then, if that is the message intended, what do we do next?
Fuck off.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. - Maya Angelou
If a woman tells you you threaten her more than a wild bear does, fucking listen, then fuck off. She is actively telling you you frighten her more than a fucking polar or grizzly. Why would you stick around? Do you enjoy terrifying people? Show some fucking respect and leave her alone forever, like she literally just asked you to. As a free bonus, you'll never have to hear her say it to you again.
If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, say good night (RIP).
On the other side of things, there's probably the context. Some women would never go into the woods at all, so if they're there with a strange man, things are probably going to get bad.
But if there's a bear, they're probably alone, and just need to leave the area. The bear lives in the woods (unless it's a polar bear), and it's probably minding its own business.
Sun bears are shy and reclusive animals, and usually do not attack humans unless provoked to do so, or if they are injured or with their cubs; their timid nature led these bears to be often tamed and kept as pets in the past
Definitely would rather be in the woods with a strange sun bear than a strange man. What if he tries to get me into Magic The Gathering?
But she's not telling me, is she? She's telling every man everywhere, forever. I can't do anything with that information, except wonder if she's calling for all men and women to be strictly segregated for women's safety. At which point you've gone so far into nth-wave feminism that you've arrived at Saudi society as as model.
It's woman specific, because she can't speak for any woman but her, and her rights matter no more than yours do, if you're concerned about situations where you both want or need to be in the same space.
IME the women who do this are the one who are the predators.
so yeah, if a unhinged lady goes off on me how i'm a huge threat to her, i do fuck off, because she's probably a psycho. normal, well adjusting folks don't go off on random strangers minding their own business.
I hike all the time. Nobody says more than a polite hi, or a wave or nod. men and women, solo, or in groups.
"As has been discussed already here this community, the key takeaway from the bear hypothetical is that it is an opportunity to truly listen to the lived experiences of women under patriarchal systems"
And to avoid taking the imaginary and hallucinatory experiences of not just women, but all people of both genders remotely seriously. Such things are by definition fantasies
Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question.
If women's personal experiences lead them to make a choice, we are not downplaying that as "hallucinatory" in this community. This is unwelcome behavior.
"Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question"
I.E. If a chick or dude claims to have been abducted by a UFO, had their sex organs examined in a wide variety of ways which defy the laws of basic biology, and given birth/fathered a few million human/alien hybrids, don't so much as wonder to oneself: "Is it also possible that this person's story is a prank, or that the tale they're telling is a byproduct of schizophrenia?"
Pursuit of the truth, no matter where it leads, and how uncomfortable what we find might makes us feel momentarily is the stuff of The Dark Ages
If someone says something like that, there's no point interacting with them anyway. You're not going to persuade them that it didn't happen if they truly believe it, and you're not going to gain anything by attempting to do so.
Either way, you're complaining about feelings and behaviours resulting from entirely plausible experiences here, not about experiences that are themselves implausible.
Beyond that, it's no one who isn't a board certified shrink's role to persuade someone that what they believe may not be a perception or outright fantasy
Allowing others to continue in their delusions is abuse.
If I don't know you, I'll just let you go on with your life. But I'm not letting friends or family continue with their delusions.
I won't tell them they're wrong, just explore their delusions to hopefully help them come to their own conclusions.
In my family there are mentally ill, genetic disorders and neuro-atypicals. I deal with this all the time. It's challenging. But it's a responsibility we all share in the family.
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