gapbetweenus

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gapbetweenus ,

psyarxiv.com/wsvq8/

The study seems to be not published jet, which means it’s review status is not clear. So it’s even less useful to a layman than a peer review study. Which in return means it’s bad journalism or agenda driven journalism. The best thing would be - not to share such articles at all.

gapbetweenus ,

MoistCr1TiKaL and Asmongold

Dudes catching some strays.

gapbetweenus ,

For profit education is nuts.

gapbetweenus ,

“Not being whole” is often used a metaphor to describe varying degrees of feeling of inadequacy, since it feels like you lack something.

gapbetweenus ,

my-family-is-controlling-my-life-even-though-I-don’t-live-with-them-anymore

Distanzfamilienkontrollsystem. You are welcome.

gapbetweenus ,

When I’m in a hurry I stand, when I’m chill I sit down - obviously not in public restrooms.

Also German insider: you will find passive aggressive signs for people to sit down to pee in quite some homes.

gapbetweenus ,

Millions of years of eating raw food and now cooking is better? Millions of years going by foot and now traveling by things with wheels is faster?

gapbetweenus ,

A bit off topic, but it always bothered me how conservatives clearly have a concept of gender beyond pure biology (being a real man, having certain social rituals required to become a real man, etc.) but just would not admit it. Like dude, who are you kidding?

gapbetweenus ,

They don’t from kbin to feddit. Also moderation does not always work from kbin to feddit.

gapbetweenus ,

And maybe I’m overly sensitive but am I ‘pressing my sons to comply with cultural standards, at the expense of their personal authenticity’ when I tell them not to make poop jokes at the dinner table?

Absolutely. But there is spectrum from anti-authoritarian to conservative and table manners are somewhere on that spectrum.

gapbetweenus ,

We need to find a way against algorithms that benefit radicalization.

gapbetweenus ,

That does not solve anything, since people are drawn to platforms with easy accessible content they enjoy. People will use those platforms. The problem is that algorithms will recommend you radicalizing content. And it’s an extremely complex task to solve. I would have no idea where to beginn, except better education - but that’s something that will take a generation to work out.

gapbetweenus ,

It took us hundred thousand years to figure out that hitting children as education is bad. We might not be the brightest.

More serious - sure, but it’s not that it’s easy to get rid of social media. Sure in china you can just forbid them, but they go more the way of using them to spread state propaganda. And in most democracies, people won’t support a blanket ban - I wouldn’t.

gapbetweenus ,

If you ever speak about it, it just goes the old “you’re a man you have life on easy don’t you know how hard it is to be X” or “that’s not the way the world is any more you are stuck in the 40’s” or " you need to be thinking about X and how men make them feel and you need to do better even though you haven’t done anything wrong you’re responsible."

Stop talking with the voices in your head. It helps a lot.

I’m just convinced men aren’t built like that

I’m a man and I’m build like that. How about not making generalizations about like half the population of earth. Some men want do MMA, some do want talk about feelings and some might even want to do both. There is no one size fit them all approach to masculinity. And it was never about, making traditional manly man any less manly. It is about realizing that we are all different and no-one is less human or men because we don’t fit in some box.

gapbetweenus ,

Imagine if all newspapers, magazines, books, publications were unregulated and uncontrolled?

You can actually write in a book pretty much what ever you want and I would appreciate if it stayed that way.

I don’t think that there is any benefit in pretending that regulating any media is not a difficult tusk. It’s a delicate balance act and with social media even trickier, since it’s an individual against the state situation.

gapbetweenus ,

That would be a marvelous solution for sure (if we manage to close loopholes), but you will need one hell of a salesmen to sell it to general population.

gapbetweenus ,

but men’s groups that tried to form in my town had police called on them and the fire alarms pulled, and people with megaphones would yell over them and they got doxxed and harassed.

Where did this happen? Why would people prevent men from forming groups? That sound completely surreal to me (Germany).

gapbetweenus ,

So a bunch of guys want to meet up and people just show up with megaphones, call police and trigger fire alarm? Canada is wild.

gapbetweenus ,

How are do you write despite lacking the ability to read? Is there a nest of you guys somewhere next to this sub?

gapbetweenus ,

Really happy that my parents taught me that it’s good to show feelings. Must suck to not be comfortable to to so. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I feel easier with women than with men, the gap is smaller since there is more emotional vulnerability.

gapbetweenus ,

Poetic was the word you were looking for. And as you can see, it is resonating at least with some, so it is an experience or feeling that for sure is worth talking about.

Also nothing wrong when art does not resonate with you - not every piece will work for everyone.

gapbetweenus ,

I was lucky, especially considering the country and time I grew up.

But I als feel that it’s changing a lot. Younger people are much more open and better at communicating their feelings.

gapbetweenus ,

Redpillers? But also too long for me.

gapbetweenus ,

Your question was:

why people are downvoting

My answer:

Redpillers?

gapbetweenus ,

Work becomes less and less lucrative compared to capital gains. So why would anyone in their right mind, work more than absolutely necessary?

gapbetweenus ,

I would say it is the advent of social media that fueled modern populism.

gapbetweenus ,

The catch is: the house is in Russia.

gapbetweenus ,

You coworkers sound like assholes.

gapbetweenus ,

Depends on the mechanism, but if it’s anything like available female contraception than no.

gapbetweenus ,

Never give religious people power, they fuck things up.

gapbetweenus ,

Next time we intervene in Afghanistan it will work out for sure.

gapbetweenus ,

The left has failed conservative men who search for simple answers and like clear rules and hierarchies. But I’m not sure what left can offer them in the first place.

gapbetweenus ,

There are enough solutions from the left, you say it yourself. People who don’t see them - don’t want to see them.

gapbetweenus ,

That’s pretty much all I’m saying. I have a hard time understanding what there is to disagree with. I think you should look inside and think about what I said that you don’t like and why. Maybe you have something to learn or work through.

Projecting much?

But I entertain your thought - what problems are boys facing that is not addressed by modern leftist ideology? And if you need it dumbed down and entertaining - there will be a youtube video about it.

But like you said yourself, if you are looking for “simplest most enticing, path of least resistance to feel good” - than obviously you will land with populist and snake oil sellers.

gapbetweenus , (edited )

I think conservatives openly hating on women, LGBT+ and minorities might be indeed a reason why they are not as popular as with majority male young population. Not sure why you dismiss that argument. Young man, rich folks and just conservatives are the target demographic. But for a rebellious young teen boy (from my experience) it’s toss up if he wants to be edgy as left or as right. Maybe right has a slight edge right now since mainstream media became extremely fake left leaning - so maybe if I was a teen right now, I myself would lean more to the right.

So your turn: what problems are boys facing that are not addressed somewhere in the left sphere?

gapbetweenus ,

In another comment in this thread I list some of the specific problems of boys and young men with good leftist solutions.

If you don’t engage with what I write, than there is little point in this conversation for me.

That’s the whole concept of the left. Everyone fights the patriarchy in the ways they need,

Just want to point out, you confuse leftism and feminism and you spend to much time debatelording online, afk most people just want to live their life and not fight the system.

gapbetweenus ,

No you still didn’t answer what aspects for young men, the left does not cover?

Also do you have any real life experience with leftist spaces? I happen to work with visuals and so I’m involved in with the alternative scene quite a bit. Never been alienated as a dude or see other guys being alienated for being a man. There is also no shortage of guys there.

gapbetweenus ,

the right is pulling boys and young men because they’re the only ones that acknowledge that these boys are not thriving in modern society.

So how does the left has the answers for men despite not even asking the questions?

but I know many young men are alienated by what they see of “loud” leftist ideology, lack of support online etc…

Or maybe of what they see, by how right wing is portraying the leftist ideology? Lack of support online, what do you even mean?

gapbetweenus ,

And than they turn around and blame feminism for all the problems men face.

gapbetweenus , (edited )

Men started treating me like their guy friends, which was exactly what I wanted. What I didn’t know is that male friendships aren’t as deep.

That is also my experience - never could emotionally open or connect to my male friends. While (from time where I learned it) not having the same problem with women in relationships or friendship. I feel always a bit on guard with other men, always a bit performing. But at the same time I never made an negative experience with opening up being emotionally vulnerable.

gapbetweenus ,

If you have a close female friend, just ask her to show you some highlight of dating app messages. Seriously a good way to start doubting the intelligence of human specie as a whole.

gapbetweenus ,

The theoretical steps are rather clear, it’s just a different “vibe” I have with men and women (therefore I guess most of my friends are women) - sure in the end I just need start doing it, but as with all emotional things it’s easier said then done.

gapbetweenus ,

I read it, but it’s difficult for me to understand what point you are trying to make, besides observations on traditional and “alternative” masculinity.

gapbetweenus ,

I don’t know how to be anything else but myself and I’m not even really good at that. But to be fair, my gender never meant much to me, so the question why be a man, never crossed my mind.

gapbetweenus ,

Sharing media you enjoy is actually sharing your beliefs and ideas. Most people are not poets and are bad at conveying especially emotions but also complex topics in general with words.

DISCUSSION: To what degree are outreach programs necessary for boys and young men at risk of radicalization?

Inspired by some of the responses to the recent post on high school boys trending conservative. In particular, I noticed that conversation outside of our community seemed to be focused and very worried about active recruiting of boys from the right. Discussion also frequently suggested that there are no such equivalent efforts...

gapbetweenus ,

You need to offer young people fun, low barrier activities - best organised by other young people.

gapbetweenus ,

I would be happy with just a men oriented space without misogyny, since those are rather rare.

The expectation society (men & women) has of men to approach and initiate an interaction is the reason women feel unsafe when a man does approach ( kbin.social )

I hear all this talk about women's safety when out on the streets (a real issue which I do acknowledge) and how we as men need to do our part to make sure they feel comfortable, safe, and that we hold other men accountable when doing the same thing. Absolutely have no problem with this. But one of the main issues men have is a...

gapbetweenus ,

Women actually do quite a lot of emotional work in relationships, so no idea what you are talking about.

So you feel unsafe around women? That is an interesting one, never happened to me - but people are different.

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