Looks like reddit is making changes to banned users/subreddit all without telling anyone. Yet I do not know what the new banned rule is because all the subreddits are different in rules and topics.
LetsEncrypt provides free certificates. I would setup Nginx Proxy Manager and use DNS challenge with your dyndns provider to get HTTPS on your home services.
My problem - and I'm not alone - is that I really don't want to expose anything publicly. Is there a way to do this without exposing anything to the Internet?
I am new at this, but from my understanding, if you want to not expose anything to internet, you would need to create your own CA server to create your own certificates and have the necessary encryption certs for your own https on your home lab.
Gotta live on the edge, man. Open up your router. All ports. Firewalls are for pansies. Connect your laptop directly to the modem. Enable ssh and rdp. What could go wrong?
You can setup a VPS between the internet and your home network to limit the exposition of your home network. When a client pings yourdomain.com, it sees the ip of the VPS and not the IP of your home network.
Otherwise, a VPN + home CA server will make your home network accessible and encrypted as well
You don’t have to expose Nginx publicly. It can exist privately on your network. I have my own domain and DNS server internally. For example nginx.home.datallboy.com and jellyfin.home.datallboy.com will resolve to NPM server at 192.168.1.10. Then nginx can listen for jellyfin.home.datallboy.com, and proxy those connections to my Jellyfin VM at 192.168.1.20.
Since I own my domain (datallboy.com), I let Nginx Proxy Manager do DNS challenge which is only used to authenticate that I own the domain. This will insert a TXT record on public DNS records for verification, and it can be removed afterwards. LetsEncrypt will then issue a certificate for https://jellyfin.home.datallboy.com which I can only access locally on my network since it only resolves to private IP addresses. The only thing “exposed” is that LetsEncrypt issued a certificate to your domain, which isn’t accessible to the internet anyways.
I have a public domain that I only use internally on my home network. I have a local DNS server that handles all my internal DNS records. So I just point my DNS records to my nginx proxy manager's local IP address and let it create certs using DNS Challenge. So I don't need to expose anything external to make it work.
It is because we are egalitarian and pro-human that we are pro-men as well as pro-women. And because men are human and have human rights, men also deserve to have their rights advocated for. This community welcomes everyone who comes without hate or bigotry, to discuss men's issues.
I just did. And honestly it doesn't leave me hopeful for this space. Boosted comments in that thread overly generalise feminism and even place blame on feminism as a whole for issues that men face. Comments saying that feminism is an egalitarian movement are reduced.
Men's advocacy is important. There are perspectives on issues that men offer that other genders cannot, the same way there are perspectives that women can offer but other genders cannot. And not all feminist advocacy is created equal, some of it is not great. But the generalised blame game is precisely the sort of tribalistic thinking that so often leads men's advocacy spaces into misogyny, where women's advocacy is treated as an infringement on men.
I agree. I scrolled through the comments (even responded to some) and this community is already heading towards where the feminist communities are heading: blaming the "other side" for everything.
It's not productive in any way and only serves to widen the gap between both communities.
Great comment. I think the framing for a lot of the issues men face get mixed up here. I casually scrolled through the post about the Reference book of Men's Issues(RBOMI) and at a quick glance two thing stuck out to me:
There was a point about how most of the homeless population is men, around 90% or something, but women make up 25% of shelter/housing resources. First, the framing. If 90% of the homeless population is men, then by grace of majority every discussion about homelessness as a whole is going to be male-centric. There is no need to specify or specifically call to men. Secondly the article they reference from the BBC does indeed state those numbers but the RBOMI doesn't explain that yes, these numbers are accurate but that's because most of the women using those resources have kids with them that need to be cared for.
The second thing that stuck out to me was in that same point the RBOMI claimed it was likely due to "male disposability" although there is no reference link for that assertion. That is a claim the post is making by itself based on a flawed understanding of the issues that affect men. That attribute, that I want to reiterate is completely made up, is meant to have an emotional response in the reader, to make them angry, to make them afraid that it could be them.
I was pretty far down the track of stereotypical MRA/Incel/forever alone when I was younger and the posts here remind me of that and it is scary. I am worried for the community and for the men here.
They tweaked a few things in the back end when this was discussed a few days ago. I think that did result in everybody being logged out once or twice, but my experience is it's been better since then.
Not for me. I got logged out and couldn't log in for days. Finally I cleared the site data and it worked. Now I have to do that every time the problem occurs. It seems worsened, not fixed.
I use Firefox on mobile to access currently; I'll switch over to Artemis after kbin.social instance is available. With Firefox I do experience logout from time to time, however I have my password and username autosaved, so login is as simple as a click.
It's not really annoying at all, and quite frankly it's much better then enriching that Reddit asshat.
I'd love it if the KDE devs made Baloo and Akonadi optional. Their insistence on including them reminds me of Micro$oft's insistence on bundling Internet Explorer and integrating it into the OS shell in Windows 98.
Are you OK mate? Like, seriously, are you OK? It sounds like you’re very preoccupied with Reddit. Just do what a lot of us recent Lemmy joiners have done - delete your account and never visit that shithole again.
You're overshooting the problem and I really doubt you care about me so drop the act. You didn't even read a single word of what my post was about, so you're just like the few here who're running off baseless assumptions, twisting contexts and regurgitating through your own filter to come to the conclusion you've made.
I never said anything to the likes about how Reddit is out to get me. That's the picture you and every other insecure idiot that's been projecting all of this time. I make a little PSA and you guys interpret it as conspiracy. Makes me think that there's a mix of conspiratards in here too. That's not a me problem, it's you problem. But you guys just refuse to accept that reality, which places you in a different realm than where I'm at.
Hey I just want to say most of us humans care about most other humans even if we’ve had disagreements currently or in the past. You and I certainly haven’t gotten along so far but I still care about you and hope that you feel cared about.
We should reject Reddit toxicity in general, tell them they don't have a place here or anywhere.
Wait, so you're saying we should kick out all ex-Redditors?
First they came for the Redditors, and I said nothing
Then they came for the Facebookers, and still I said nothing
Then they came for the Instagramians, and still I said nothing
Then they came for the Twits, and I laughed and laughed and laughed until I vomited
Then they came for the OnlyFans, and I think they're still coming
Sure. I don't know anyone on firefish, but this is dansup of pixlfed on that platform: https://kbin.social/u/@[email protected]/posts
If you want to see posts from somebody on another platform just search them, something like "@ dansup@ pixelfed.social" (without the spaces) and follow them. From then on you should be able to see their posts (note you won't be able to see old posts, just any new ones from when you followed them onwards).
Super cool, thank you so much! I still am not sure if I can see Firefish posts automatically in the Microblog tab though. I also don’t know anyone there yet but I’ve been thinking of making an account after seeing a few posts here about it!
I just saw Everything , everywhere, all at once, and was very pleasantly surprised that, even though it is centered on two female characters, it does not for a second use feminist talking points of "men did it", and concludes in part that the hero is unsatisfied in life because she has failed too see how wonderful her husband is.
You might see this suggestion twice - do a clean install, not just the OS. Back up your home directory and start fresh, move over what you need from the backup piecemeal so you can tell if something is causing issues.
Well, the Mint install was doing that from Fresh. More concerned with ubuntu cinnamon though as I prefer it. Both times I attempted an install on that were from freshly formatted drives and the only things I had installed was steam and discord. Still the only things I have installed really. First install was from a 22.04 iso image and then upgraded from the desktop to 23. Second attempt was with an actual 23 image. It was broken right out of the box.
Between a 1-5 second delay before anything internet related would start loading. So, I'd wait the 1-5 seconds and then it would actually start loading content.
Yeah, I think I'm throwing in the towel with ubuntu cinnamon. There are more and more bugs popping up now. I don't know how in the world it was so stable before and now it's a fucking mess.
So if that issue is still there on Mint I guess we're about to find out.
EDIT: And I'm back and the Mint issue persists. sigh
No, just no. This is a typical "forever alone" take, and the proposed solutions are unrealistic at best. Not gonna happen.
How are we supposed to take the lead and approach while keeping women safe at the same time when approaching her could make her feel uncomfortable
By being gentlemen about it. Be confident in our approach, but be respectful when turned down.
And understand that many women react the way they do because of a series of negative experiences they've had. It's tragic that bad men ruin it for the good ones. But that shouldn't mean the good ones should give up.
Men already deal with the expectation to approach and make the first move. If you put that much pressure on men, it's gonna make them wanna find communities that will tell them how to do exactly that. Guess where they turn to? The redpill/PUA.
Because there are so few places that teach positive and respectful ways of dating. I really think this is an issue primarily of education (by other men and by male communities, as well as parents). Most boys are left to their own devices when it comes to this, which means peer groups, social media, and Hollywood. Is it any wonder they don't learn healthy behaviors?
TRP and PUA at least offer solutions that work to some extent, unhealthy as they may be. Where are the healthy alternatives?
So the first step here is for society to stop expecting men to make the first move and not just that. Stop expecting them to read signs (especially signs women gives as an invitation as her "first move" as they're subtle, not obvious), stop expecting men to start flirting, and stop expecting men to be the first ones to initiate conversations about sex.
Not gonna work. This is too deeply ingrained in our nature, which evolved over millions of years. Sperm is cheap, and pregnancy is still a heavy burden. Most women are always going to be more careful about selecting who to have sex and relationships with. Take it as a fact of nature.
I'm not saying it can't change, but don't build your dating strategy on expecting it to change. That's how guys end up forever alone.
I don't believe we as a society (given our current practices) should partake in active agency with dating until we've gotten rid of those expectations.
and
We should not be doing any active courting in dating nor give out any dating advice until we have reached a point where society doesn't expect men to be the initiators all the time.
Then enjoy being forever alone. Most men are going to pass on that, because it is unnatural, and the urge to have sex and to be in a relationship is simply too strong.
Your proposed plan of action is entirely unrealistic, and I would say even damaging to boys and young men seeking healthy dating strategies that work.
Yes, it's a quagmire navigating all the conflicting advice, which is why I say that more experienced men showing others the way is so important.
By being gentlemen about it. Be confident in our approach, but be respectful when turned down.
And understand that many women react the way they do because of a series of negative experiences they've had. It's tragic that bad men ruin it for the good ones. But that shouldn't mean the good ones should give up.
I'm all for being able to accept a 'no' and moving on but as I mentioned in my comments, most women aren't gonna outright say no and instead find socially acceptable ways to exit a conversation. Many guys aren't aware of what's really going on here and just end up confused. In the worst case scenario, they'll continue trying to talk to her cuz they felt they didn't 'try enough' or in the best case scenario, they just leave things alone and go back to doing their own thing.
Because there are so few places that teach positive and respectful ways of dating. I really think this is an issue primarily of education (by other men and by male communities, as well as parents). Most boys are left to their own devices when it comes to this, which means peer groups, social media, and Hollywood. Is it any wonder they don't learn healthy behaviours?
I agree with that as well but one question. Do you agree that women can and are able to make the first move? Cuz my position is I think they do, but many of them won't make that first move and often times expect men to do it. So even with places to teach positive and respectful ways of dating, that pressure for men is still going to be there and I don't think the side effects of it are going to be pretty. Cuz if they're the ones who are still expected to approach, they're inevitably gonna make women feel more uncomfortable even if they mean well. But we already got there in the first place because of what I've described. This was mainly the reason why I suggested getting rid of these expectations first. I can go on and explain in detail exactly what men should do to approach a woman, start a conversation with her, read the signs and move on. But it's not easy taking that much emotional toll from this many rejections (which if it builds up can lead to a point where they lash out at another rejection.), it's also not easy for men to gauge weather they are successful or not which can result in them reading situations wrong, coming off a more aggressive than intended, or even into searching for methods to achieve said results (even if done from immoral means). If men don't feel expected to live up to these standards, then they can follow these healthy dating advice without feeling those same pressures I was talking about, which could mean women won't have to put up with much aggressive creepy behaviour they see from men like they currently do now.
Many men are lost when it came to mainstream dating advice as it doesn't deliver results. The only dating advice that's delivering results now are advice that tie our self worth into arbitrary values i.e if you are a man and can make a lot of women have sex with you, then you're valuable. If you're a woman and you can withhold sex for 3 months and make him fall in love with you before the sex, then you're valuable. Adversarial dynamics.
On a side note, I actually do know some healthy yet practical dating sources that I've learned from so they are out there, but TRP/PUA/FDS material are in heavy abundance and not much channels that discuss the nuances in dating. But they're not gonna do much as long as men feel they have to bear the burden of doing the heavy lifting initially all the time.
I'm not saying it can't change, but don't build your dating strategy on expecting it to change. That's how guys end up forever alone.
I'm not talking about dating strategies here, I'm talking about expectations. I'm all for men to make the first move, to initiate flirting, and even to escalate to sex. Having the skill to do that is very valuable, but the expectations men face to even live up to that are gonna lead to some unfavourable outcomes for both men and women. In terms of meeting women, it can make men to be aggressive in getting a number just to build options, and will often try tricks to ensure a woman has sex with them in a somewhat manipulative kind of way. It makes it physically and emotionally unsafe for everybody involved. It wouldn't even matter if there are healthy alternatives out there if they're still expected to do the heavy lifting initially.
And healthy dating advice that's currently out there are geared towards masculine men and feminine women, leaving the more feminine men in the dust as being in a position to lead for these types of men is exhausting, speaking from experience myself, and finding women who are okay with being in that leading position is very rare.
I had to make another post on this due to character limit, but yea I personally think it's too risky putting out healthy dating advice for men as if we're still expecting them to do the heavy lifting, women are still gonna have to put up with us approaching them even at times when they don't want us to, which means we could indirectly be encouraging harassment in these cases. And considering dating has a of factors, it's quite risky to do that if men feel like they gotta make something happen or if they don't and relax a little, then nothing will happen. And if they mess up on it, the woman ends up being very uncomfortable or he may say or do something the wrong way that really messes up the interaction.
Let's say a woman decides to make the first move on a man given the current practices we have established. Because the average man doesn't get that much attention, he's gonna latch onto any positive affection given to him, making him clingly and needy which can make it unsafe for her. If the man is secure enough to handle a direct approach from her, fine, but many men feel lonely so they're not emotionally developed to handle that (which again I link this back to male expectations.).
Me personally, I don't think we can have a conversation about healthy practical dating advice if we're still encouraging practices that potentially put women in a position where she constantly has to deal with men approaching her which is where most harassment cases comes from and why they feel perpetually unsafe.
This is primarily the reason why I suggested we should get rid of expectations for men first. You get rid of the expectations, they don't feel pressured, which means some of the lengths they would go to they won't need to go that far anymore as they feel they get enough attention & validation, enough feeling of being desired, so they can take it easy. This shouldn't stop them from taking their shot, if they see someone they find attractive they should shoot their shot if they want something to happen, they just won't feel that intense pressure to be doing so all the time.
Note: "males" sounds weird here, but I'm not sure there is a better way to indicate that both boys and men are affected without getting super wordy. Comments and suggestions welcomed.
I think it's important to point out that a lot of the negative outcomes that disproportionately affect males are the predictable results of trying to meet expectations put on males. How many men take dangerous or debilitating jobs to increase their income? Earning and accumulating wealth is one of the most straight forward ways for males to increase their status. Males that don't initiate and succeed are largely ignored, which means most males have experienced lots of rejection and failure by adulthood. Males that can't measure up, or >feel< like they aren't measuring up, burn out and frequently turn to self soothing but harmful solutions like drugs and alcohol which can compound into suicide or homelessness.
At this point feminists will chalk it up to "toxic masculinity" and call it a day. Because that intentionally puts the entirety of the issue on males and is a conversational dead end. This makes the issues worse because males quickly realize that there will be no help, just mind games and tactics of delay. It shows males that pay attention how cynical and manipulative feminism actually is. Feminist are just as likely to judge and reward or penalize males based on cultural expectations as everyone else, maybe worse than non-feminists. Which is jarring because feminists are immediately offended when society has expectations about females.
I agree with you about toxic masculinity and patriarchy because those don't exist. Feminism exists as an ideology. Many people identify as feminists so it's okay to use feminism.
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